This is a very old story, one of my very first “vignettes” and it’s horrible, but I decided to post it.

“Dude, look at that.” said AJ as he handed Nick a magazine to see a picture of Britney Spears wearing a bikini and Nick shook his head no. “Don’t be showing me that AJ.” said Nick as he continued to shake his head to get the image out. “Why? Man….” said AJ, “Just like put parts of her onto parts of these other girls and then just bam- the perfect woman.” as Nick looked back at him. “What are you talking about?” asked Nick as AJ smiled an evil grin and Nick looked at him confused, “What?” AJ stood up and walked over to Nick, turning his video game off and spreaded the magazines out for him to see.

“Put parts of Britney with parts of Christina, well use her voice since she can sing better than Britney and then parts of Jennifer Lopez and then just, damn boy.” said AJ as Nick turned his head funny looking at him. “AJ, you didn’t use anymore of that stuff did you?” asked Nick looking concerned. “No.. I didn’t.” said AJ.

“AJ, it’s nice to have dreams man, but you can’t make that reality.” said Nick as he looked back at the TV, “And you turned my video game off.” “No.. you remember that movie “Weird Science” they made like all of those magazine clippings into a real woman.” said AJ as Nick looked at him again. “AJ, we’re not that smart- and besides, that would be wicked.” said Nick. “Yes it would.” said AJ smiling. “But it’s a movie, it’s not real AJ.” said Nick. “Oh we can make it real.” said AJ as he took Nick’s hand lifting him off the floor and he picked up the magazines, “We’ve just got to figure out who is giving what.” “I’m not giving anybody anything.” said Nick as AJ started to smile.

“She’s got Britney’s hair and her boobs” said AJ as Nick interrupted him. “Those aren’t hers, they’re the doctors.” said Nick as AJ rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” said AJ, “So then she has Christina’s voice, Jessica’s personality, Jennifer’s ass.” as Nick interrupted him again. “Can she have Janet Jackson’s smile. She has a nice smile.” said Nick as AJ handed him a pair of goggles. “Um, Janet Jackson’s smile, sure.” said AJ, “Put those on.” Nick just looked at the goggles. “We gotta go swimming?” asked Nick as AJ hit him upside the head. “No man.. for protection.” said AJ as Nick looked at him confused. “I thought you used cond..” said Nick as AJ interrupted him. “Protection for our eyes.” said AJ as Nick looked shocked. “Oh, yeah, okay.” said Nick as he put the goggles on his head and over his eyes.

“AJ what are we doing?” asked Nick who was standing there in a big yellow suit and the goggles on as he looked over at AJ who was wearing the same thing, “I feel like a big banana or something.” AJ just started to laugh like an evil scientist. “You look like big bird.” said AJ laughing as Nick didn’t say anything and looked around. “So when are we gonna make this woman?” asked Nick as AJ started to work through the computer and Nick looked even more confused, “When did you learn to use a computer like this?” “It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t know what the hell your doing.” said AJ laughing as Nick looked over at him concerned.

“Should I call Kevin to call help for you AJ. I’m really worried.” said Nick as AJ looked over at him. “Oh no my man because with the hit of this button here, we have our dream woman.” said AJ as Nick looked over at him. “That one button. The A button. Why is it the A button?” asked Nick.

“A for AJ you dumbass.” said AJ as Nick looked at him when someone started beating at the door and they both jumped up to go see who it was. When they jumped up, AJ’s McDonald’s cup fell off the computer screen and down on the A button. The compute started blinking and finally exploded.

“Shit.. it’s Howie.” said AJ as he opened the door and Howie saw Nick and AJ wearing the yellow suits. “Guys?” asked Howie concerned. “Dude come here..” said AJ as he grabbed Howie’s hand and pulled him in. “I’m taking this suit off it sucks.” said Nick as he took the suit off and Howie looked at them confused. “What’s going on?” asked Howie as he started to sniff, “What’s burning?”

“Nick, you cook something?” asked AJ as Nick looked around and sniffed. “No.. it smells like strawberries.” said Nick as AJ looked at him. “Dream girl!” yelled AJ and Nick as they ran back downstairs leaving Howie there. “Guys!” yelled Howie as he ran downstiars in the basement right behind each other. They reached the bottom to see three identical women standing there. One was in Jennifer Lopez’s famous Grammy dress, the other was in Britney’s red leather suit from “Opps I Did It Again”, and the third was in a suit like Christina Aguilera wore in “Come On Over”.

“Guys you didn’t tell me you had company.. and triplets at that.” said Howie as he walked up to them, “Hi girls, I’m Howie D, but you can call me Sweet D if you’d like.” as he kissed the top of each of their hands. “Um, D, we didn’t know about it either.” said Nick looking confused, “Dude they do have Jennifer’s ass!” AJ hit Nick upside the head and Nick looked over at them. “Howie, Howie, um D, um see we didn’t know they were here.” said AJ as Howie started to laugh. “Oh sure you didn’t.” said Howie. “Howie we didn’t.” said Nick as the girl in the Britney suit walked up to Nick and he looked even more confused, “I’m scared..”

“Holy shit.” said AJ as he swallowed hard and the Jennifer Lopez dress girl walked up to him and started to kiss him as Howie looked back at them. “Oh and you don’t know them.” said Howie shaking his head no. “We don’t.” said Nick as the girl started to take his shirt out of his pants and Howie looked in shock, “AJ, Howie, help me…” “You guys are weird.” said Howie as he started out and the girl in the Christina suit walked up and put her arms around Howie’s neck and started to kiss him on the neck.

“Girls, we should really get to know each other first, I mean, come on, we created you.” said AJ as the Jennifer girl pushed him down on the sofa that AJ had down in his basement and didn’t say anything. “Hello, can you talk?” asked AJ. “AJ you call me dumb. You gave them Christina’s singing voice, but no talking voice!” yelled Nick as the Britney girl started to unbutton his jeans, “I wanna go home!”

“Hey, stop.” said AJ as the girl took his shirt off and kissed him, kissing all the way down his neck to his stomach, “Okay you can stop now. We need to get you a talking voice or something like.” as she started to undo his jeans and he felt pain, “AHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

“AHHH!!!!!” yelled AJ as Nick and Howie stood over him. “AJ, man wake up!” yelled Nick as AJ jumped up and looked around. “Where are we?” asked AJ as he hopped up and looked around. “Backstage at the VMA’s, you fell asleep back here in the green room.” said Howie as AJ looked around. “Bad dream?” asked Nick as Britney Spears walked back and stuck her head in the room.

“Hey guys, the performance was great!” said Britney as she walked away. “She’s lookin’ good tonight.” said Nick as Howie shook his head agreeing. “Don’t even say that.” said AJ as he looked down at his pants and stood up, “Don’t even.” “Why?” asked Nick as they started out and Jennifer Lopez walked back and AJ jumped. “Dude are you okay?” asked Howie. “I’m fine.” said AJ as he smiled and put on his shades, “Let’s Rock N Roll..” as they walked out.