Chapter Four

“Mike, what is it?” Jamie asked as Mike started to smile a little.

“Get any old feelings this morning?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ya know, when you saw Carter.”

“No.”

“None?”

“I’m not in love with him anymore. He hurt me and I moved on.” Jamie said, “It’s over.”

“Okay.” Mike said, “Well, I was just calling to check on you. I know you said the other day when we talked that you were going to LA today.”

“Yep and I’m here.” Jamie said, “If you talk to Nick, don’t tell him you talked to me.”

“I’m not girl. Later.”

“Bye.” Jamie said as she closed her cell phone and laid it back up on the counter. She moved her hands back down in the water, playing with the bubbles. She pressed her lips together, and looked back over at the radio that was playing “Shape Of My Heart” now as a tear rolled down her cheek. She reached up, wiping it away.

“This song has got to go.”, she said as she reached up, turning the station to the next station, only to hear “As Long As You Love Me”. She started to laugh a little until she broke down in tears, sinking down and going up under the water.

____________________________________________

Dear Nick,

I know you are probably wondering WHAT the hell I’m doing writing you a letter. Especially like this, but, it’s Valentine’s Day and it’s our 2nd Valentine’s Day together! Does it seem like it’s been over a year since we got together?

I can’t believe it’s been this long. So this letter is just making no sense what so ever and you can throw it away afterwards to save me from the embarrassment, because I’m writing this at 3:30 in the morning. I just got finished studying for this big test I have tomorrow and you’re coming home tomorrow so before school I’m going to go and slide this in the house so you can see it.

So anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I love you, which you know already, but that’s beside the point. I’m so in love with you and I know I can be a little bitchy once in a while, it’s my attitude and what is it you call it? My sassiness, or something like that, but I love you.

I love your laugh. I love your annoying way of telling me what to do. I love your smile. I love your sense of humor. I love your love of the playstation. Yeah that’s romantic right? I love everything about you. Okay not everything, it annoys me that you always sleep on your back but I won’t say anything because this is supposed to be about love! And I love you!

I’m going to sleep now. So I’ll see you after class tomorrow.

I love you,

Jamie

Nick sat there on his bed, looking at a folded up piece of paper that he kept in his backpack all of the time. It was a letter that Jamie wrote to him for Valentine’s Day 1999. He sniffed a little as he folded it back up and put it back inside his notebook. He stuck the notebook back inside of his backpack and reached in, pulling out a packet of photos.

He opened the photo envelope open and pulled the pictures out to see a picture of Jamie and Aaron, sitting there smiling at the camera. He couldn’t remember who took the picture, maybe Leslie. He didn’t because he was sitting behind Aaron, rolling his eyes.

He moved the picture to see another picture. It was just Jamie, sitting in bed with a book, reading it. She was smiling at the camera like she always did, because she hated having her picture taken when she wasn’t smiling. Nick smiled, looking down at her until he realized he shouldn’t be doing that. He wasn’t going to get her back no matter how much he wanted her back, so he put the pictures back in the envelope, and threw it back inside of his backpack.

“I’m being stupid.”, he said out loud as he threw his backpack on the floor. He crawled under the covers and reached over, turning the light out. He laid back on his pillow and put his hands beside his head. He closed his eyes, picturing Jamie, and then opened them back up.

“Ugh.” Nick growled as he put his hands on his forehead, squeezing it, “Get out of my mind.”

__________________________

“Get out of my mind.” Jamie said as she flipped channels on the TV to see a Chapter One commercial, “And off my damn TV!”

She turned the TV off and threw the remote on the other side of the bed. She looked over at the clock to see that it was only 8 o’clock Pacific Time but she was still on Eastern Time and she was getting tired. She sat there a few minutes, putting her hands on her forehead, and just shook it back and forth. She lifted her head up and reached over, setting her little automatic radio alarm clock that she traveled with when she realized Nick bought it for her.

“God Jamie really.”, she said out loud as she sat the clock by on the nightstand. She looked back at the TV that was turned off and finally scooted under the covers, and laid down on her stomach, hugging up to the pillow as she reached over, turning the light out.

She laid there, hugged up to the pillow thinking about Nick and how he looked earlier that day. She sighed, looking at the little alarm clock and she closed her eyes, trying to go to sleep.

[[ 1999 ]]

“Jamie!” Nick yelled out as he walked into the hotel room to see Jamie lying there asleep in bed, “Jamie.”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up baby.” Nick said as he sat on the edge of the bed. Jamie sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and looked at Nick, “I got you a gift.”

“What time is it?” Jamie asked as she looked around.

“Exactly.” Nick said as he laughed, “It’s 11:30.”

“Fuck your up and chipper early this morning.”

“Had a nice night, what can I say?” Nick said as Jamie stopped rubbing her eyes and looked at him, “What? Someone wear you out?”

“Ha ha.” Jamie said as Nick leaned over, kissing her on the cheek.

“I got you a gift.”

“Nick, you shouldn’t -”

“Oh shut up.” Nick said, cutting her off and she sat up, looking at him as he handed her a blue gift bag, “Open it up.”

“Okay.” Jamie said as she took the bag from him and looked inside, pulling out a little baby blue radio alarm clock, “What’s this?”

“For you. It’s an alarm clock so when you stay with me and I have to leave earlier than you, you can wake up and not still be Sleeping Beauty” when I come back.” Nick said smiling, “You like?”

“It’s bootyful.” Jamie said as Nick rolled his eyes, smiling, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Nick said smiling.

“How was the rehearsing?”

“It was cool. I saw Chris Kataan. He’s so fucking short in person.”

“Really?”

“Yep. You going to come tonight?”

“Umm, I dunno. I might stay here and watch on TV.” Jamie said laughing a little, “I feel weird being around everybody else backstage while you guys are doing your thing. I feel like a outsider.”

“It’s because you don’t know them.”

“And I never come off with you like this.”

“Hey, it’s a big weekend and week. You’re out of school before the summer classes start. I wanted you here.” Nick said, smiling at her.

“And I wanted to be here too.” Jamie said, smiling at him as she leaned up, kissing him on the cheek, “And I’m glad you wanted me here.”

“Of course I wanted you here. I always want you with me.”

“And I always wanna be with you.”

“And one day, we will be together all 365 days a year, including holidays.” Nick said as Jamie smiled, reaching up to hug him.

“Didn’t work out that way Nickolas.” Jamie whispered as she opened her eyes, and wiped a tear, as he fell down her cheek, “Didn’t work out that way at all.”

___________________________________________

“I’m sorry”

“I know you are.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“And I know that.”

“I’m really sorry and I want you back. I love you and I miss you and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in over 2 years. I need you back.”

“You hurt me.”

“I know, but, I was young and I took everything for granted back then until you were gone. I just want you back.”

“No.”

“Uhh.” Nick moaned as he opened his eyes, from waking up. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe the sleep out of them until he realized they were tears. Finally he got some fed up with rubbing his eyes that he slammed his hands back down on the bed and rolled over on his stomach, burying his face in his pillow until he heard his cell phone ring.

Ring Ring

“Fuck!” Nick yelled as he lifted his head up and reached over for his cell phone, opening it, “What the fuck do you want this god damn fucking early?”

“I love you too bro.”

“What do you want Aaron?” Nick said as he rolled back over on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“I talked to Mike.”

“Great.”

“He said you saw Jamie at the airport.” Aaron said, “How is she?”

“She’s fine. She’s doing great. She’s super. She’s beautiful. She’s talented -”

“And this is where Nick starts talking about the things she is because his ass fucked up and he’ll never have her back.”

“You don’t know a shit about anything your saying.” Nick said.

“I know, because ohh, it’s some big mystery as to why you two broke up.” Aaron said, “I never understood it.”

“You’re too young to understand it.”

“I mean, like I thought you two would get married someday -”

Nick closed his cell phone, looking at the ceiling until he heard it ring again and he answered it back.

“Get married some day and live next door to us and dude don’t hang up on me anymore.” Aaron said as he laughed.

“Well we’re not. It’s over with.”

“Dude, you so want her back. Want me to talk to her for you?”

“Don’t you dare.” Nick said, “She’ll never take me back.”

“Yeah I know because you fucked up and you suck. What did you do to her?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine, fine. Don’t tell me.” Aaron said, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later.” Nick said as he closed his cell phone up. He put it back on the nightstand and rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath.