Prologue

[[ October 18, 2002 - Orlando, Florida ]]

Jamie sat at her desk, inside of her office in the Disney Studios, looking at her computer, proof reading something that she had written. After leaving Los Angeles, she went back to her normal life, trying to forget what had happened with Nick and him asking her to marry him.

She tried to forget about seeing him smile at her. She tried to forget about the way he kissed her and touched her. She even tried to forget about what it felt like to make love to him again, but it wouldn’t go away.

So she pushed it away.

She hadn’t talked to Mike or taken any of his phone calls after coming back home. She had been burying herself in her work to get past everything. She hadn’t went to visit her sister and brother in law, or her parents. She just stayed locked up in her apartment or her office.

“You have a package Miss Marshall.” The mail carrier said as he stood in her doorway of her office and Jamie looked up at him. He walked over to her desk, handing her a big blue package and had her signed for it, “Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Jamie said as she looked at the package and then back at the door. She bit down on her bottom lip, taking a pair of scissors so she could open the page. When she finally had it opened she reached inside, pulling out a letter and a CD. She moved the piece of paper to see the cover of the CD.

Now Or Never

“Oh damn.” Jamie said softly to herself as she opened the letter up and began to read it.

Jamie -

I know you want nothing to do with me, but I had to send you this. I want you to listen to every song carefully, especially number 2, 4, 6, 9, 11, and 12.

Read the thank you’s too, but only after you listen to the songs.

- Nick

Jamie sighed as she closed the letter and looked at the cover of the CD. She looked back up at the door and stood up, walking over to close the door. She shut the door and walked back around to her desk slowly, looking at the back of the album until she reached her chair and sat back down. After sitting the CD down on her desk, she reached over to her speakerphone, pressing the button to talk.

“Patrice, will you hold all phone calls and stuff for me?” Jamie asked as she looked over at her computer and back at the CD.

“Sure thing.” Her secretary Patrice said as Jamie let go of the speakerphone and turned around, facing her computer.

She opened the CD up to see the booklet and was tempted to read the thank you’s first but decided not to. She smiled a little seeing his picture and took the CD out of the case, slipping it inside of her CD-ROM on her computer.

___________________________________________

Nick sat there on the bed of his hotel room in complete silence. There were no lights on. There was no TV or music blaring. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He looked over at a window, seeing a light outside, blinking on and off. It was the only light that he could see and it kept shining in his eyes.

He had a few days off before he had to go into New York City for some promotion and he just wanted everything to be quiet. He didn’t want any managers telling him what to do. He didn’t want any cell phones ringing. He didn’t want any fans or groupies all over him. He didn’t want any record executives telling him he needed to do this or that. He didn’t want any family or friends bugging him about what he’s doing with his life.

He just wanted to be completely quiet, so he went to a little run down hotel in the middle of nowhere

Then he would start to wonder if Jamie had gotten her package yet, or if she read the thank you’s before she even listened to the songs. He wondered if she actually got the meaning behind some of the songs or if she just passed them off as normal songs. He wondered if she jus threw the album away or if she even opened the package up.

All he could do was sit there and wondered until he had to leave in 24 hours to go to work.

He knew that if she didn’t read the thank you’s or if she just decided to ignore him and get on with her life, that he had to get over it. He knew that he had to move on with his life. He couldn’t give up his career but he didn’t want to lose her either. He would just have to face the fact that they couldn’t be together.

But until then, he was set on sitting in his little hotel room - thinking.

Prologue

[[ October 18, 2002 - Orlando, Florida ]]

Jamie sat at her desk, inside of her office in the Disney Studios, looking at her computer, proof reading something that she had written. After leaving Los Angeles, she went back to her normal life, trying to forget what had happened with Nick and him asking her to marry him.

She tried to forget about seeing him smile at her. She tried to forget about the way he kissed her and touched her. She even tried to forget about what it felt like to make love to him again, but it wouldn’t go away.

So she pushed it away.

She hadn’t talked to Mike or taken any of his phone calls after coming back home. She had been burying herself in her work to get past everything. She hadn’t went to visit her sister and brother in law, or her parents. She just stayed locked up in her apartment or her office.

“You have a package Miss Marshall.” The mail carrier said as he stood in her doorway of her office and Jamie looked up at him. He walked over to her desk, handing her a big blue package and had her signed for it, “Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Jamie said as she looked at the package and then back at the door. She bit down on her bottom lip, taking a pair of scissors so she could open the page. When she finally had it opened she reached inside, pulling out a letter and a CD. She moved the piece of paper to see the cover of the CD.

Now Or Never

“Oh damn.” Jamie said softly to herself as she opened the letter up and began to read it.

Jamie -

I know you want nothing to do with me, but I had to send you this. I want you to listen to every song carefully, especially number 2, 4, 6, 9, 11, and 12.

Read the thank you’s too, but only after you listen to the songs.

- Nick

Jamie sighed as she closed the letter and looked at the cover of the CD. She looked back up at the door and stood up, walking over to close the door. She shut the door and walked back around to her desk slowly, looking at the back of the album until she reached her chair and sat back down. After sitting the CD down on her desk, she reached over to her speakerphone, pressing the button to talk.

“Patrice, will you hold all phone calls and stuff for me?” Jamie asked as she looked over at her computer and back at the CD.

“Sure thing.” Her secretary Patrice said as Jamie let go of the speakerphone and turned around, facing her computer.

She opened the CD up to see the booklet and was tempted to read the thank you’s first but decided not to. She smiled a little seeing his picture and took the CD out of the case, slipping it inside of her CD-ROM on her computer.

___________________________________________

Nick sat there on the bed of his hotel room in complete silence. There were no lights on. There was no TV or music blaring. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. He looked over at a window, seeing a light outside, blinking on and off. It was the only light that he could see and it kept shining in his eyes.

He had a few days off before he had to go into New York City for some promotion and he just wanted everything to be quiet. He didn’t want any managers telling him what to do. He didn’t want any cell phones ringing. He didn’t want any fans or groupies all over him. He didn’t want any record executives telling him he needed to do this or that. He didn’t want any family or friends bugging him about what he’s doing with his life.

He just wanted to be completely quiet, so he went to a little run down hotel in the middle of nowhere

Then he would start to wonder if Jamie had gotten her package yet, or if she read the thank you’s before she even listened to the songs. He wondered if she actually got the meaning behind some of the songs or if she just passed them off as normal songs. He wondered if she jus threw the album away or if she even opened the package up.

All he could do was sit there and wondered until he had to leave in 24 hours to go to work.

He knew that if she didn’t read the thank you’s or if she just decided to ignore him and get on with her life, that he had to get over it. He knew that he had to move on with his life. He couldn’t give up his career but he didn’t want to lose her either. He would just have to face the fact that they couldn’t be together.

But until then, he was set on sitting in his little hotel room - thinking.

Chapter One

Jamie sat there at her desk, as she clicked play on her CD player that was on her computer. She listened to the beginning of “Help Me” and instantly recognized it because the radio station that she always listened to was playing it continuously.

I wish I could define

All the thoughts that cross my mind

They seem too big for me to choose

I don’t know which ones to lose

“I don’t know why I’ve got to listen to this one.” Jamie thought as she sat there listening to it. She sung along with it a little, moving her mouth with the words.

I wanna know you more than anything

I need you in my every dream you’re there for me

You love me for who I am

No angel, just an ordinary man

“I hate that line.” Jaime said out loud softly to herself as she sighed, looking back over at the booklet when her speakerphone came on.

“Jamie, you’ve got a call -” Patrice started to say as Jamie hit the speaker phone button.

“I thought I said no calls Pa -”

“But it’s important. It’s your mother.” Patrice said, “She said it was urgent. Line one.”

“Okay thanks.” Jamie said as she put the CD on pause and picked up the phone receiver, hitting the button for line one, “Hey mom.”

“Jamie, we need you to come to the hospital.” Mrs. Marshall said as Jamie looked around, “First you need to go pick Dylan up from the daycare.”

“I’m not coming to Tampa today -”

“Michelle and Michael got into a car accident about an hour ago.”

“Oh God.”

“They were on the way back from the doctor and a semi truck hit them head on.”

“Oh my God are they okay?” Jamie asked as she heard her mother start to cry a little, “Are they okay?”

“Michelle’s in Intensive Care, but Michael - no, he’s not. It threw him from the car.” Mrs. Marshall said as Jamie looked over at the CD and reached over, taking the CD out of the computer.

“Okay okay. Which hospital?” Jamie asked as she put the CD back in it’s cover and put it in the letter in her purse.

“St. Joseph’s.”

“Okay okay. I’ll go by and get him and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Jamie said as she hung up, and reached over for her jacket before practically running out of the office.

__________________________________________

“Will you marry me?”

“What?”

“Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No I’m not drunk. I’m completely sober. Will you marry me?”

“Nick -”

“Jamie, just I’m asking you -”

“Nick -”

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes but -”

“You will?”

“Nick. I can’t marry if you’re still doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“This. I can’t -”

“This what?”

“Your career.”

“My career.” Nick said lightly to himself as he looked down at his hands that were propped up on his knees, “I can’t give my career up. I shouldn’t see around here and be depressed. I shouldn’t have sent her that package and CD. I should have made her buy it.”

He looked out the window again to see some young couple walk past the window, practically all over each other. He could hear them go into the room beside his through the thin walls and he closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the headboard, sighing.

“I could leave this place right now, go out, get drunk, and find some chick to spend the night with.”, he said to himself as he looked over at the little TV that was turned off. He looked at his reflection in it and ran his hands over his face, “But I look like shit and nobody would give me the time of day.”

He reached over on the nightstand beside him to grab the remote and tried to the turn the TV on, but the remote was dead.

“Fuck.”, he muttered to himself as he threw it across the room, against the wall, busting it to pieces. He laughed to himself when he realized that he hit the same spot in the wall that he did when he threw his cell phone against it. Damn Kevin for trying to but his way into his own personal business and tell him to get over Jamie, that she didn’t want him.

She did want him, but she was scared that his career was going to mess them up again.

“Wonder if she got the CD?”, he asked himself, almost whispering as he looked back out the window, smiling a little.

_____________________________________

“Uhhh fucking red lights.” Jamie thought to herself as she sat there in traffic, tapping her hands on her steering wheel. She turned on the radio to hear Justin Timberlake’s new solo single, “Like I Love You” and finally turned it to another station before she remembered Nick’s CD. She reached over, taking it out of her purse and opened it up, putting the CD in her stereo. She skipped over number one since she had already listened to it, and went to number two.

I’m just trying to figure out

What’s wrong with your head

Every time I look around

You’re somewhere else instead

But every time I try, you cry

“That’s sad.” Jamie thought as she started to laugh a little, remembering how Nick told her she cried too much.

I wanna breathe you

I wanna feel you near

This is my confession

I wanna see what you see

When you cry those tears..

“I wanna breathe you.” Jamie whispered to herself as she looked around while driving. She put her foot on the gas even more, speeding up as she started to remember that line.

[[ Feburary 2000]]

“Yes you do.” Nick whispered as he leaned down, kissing her deeply again. Jamie began to kiss him back just as passionate and began to move her hands under his shirt, pulling it up. Nick broke away from the kiss long enough for her to pull his shirt over his head, and hew threw it across the room. He leaned back down, kissing her slowly as he his hands moved down, unfastening her jeans slowly.

He stopped kissing her long enough to pull her jeans off of her and he stood up, stepping out of his own. He crawled back up on the bed, hovering over her and she smiled back at him, leaning up to kiss him gently on the lip. Nick took a deep breath and smiled back down at her.

“What?”

“I wanna breathe you.”

“Uh huh.” Jamie said smiling as she leaned back up to kiss him.

“Damn.” Jamie thought as she started to blink her eyes so she wouldn’t stop crying. Then she started to think about her sister and brother law and finally the tears started streaming down her face.

I confess every time I come around

Something’s always got you down

And I don’t understand why

But if you wanna tell me

I’ll be the angel on your shoulder baby

I’ll be the man that you confide in

But I can’t seem to run

And get you out of that place

And everything you do is just -

Erasing the pain, the hatred inside, I can’t ask why

“Fuck.” Jamie thought as she started to remember all of the problems that she had with her father while her and Nick was together.

[[ 1998 ]]

“He’s being a fucking asshole.” Jamie said into the phone as she sat in the corner of her room, “I can’t stand it here anymore.”

“What’s he doing now?” Nick asked as he sat there on the back of his bus as Jamie wiped her tears away and layed her forehead on her knees.

“He’s drinking and him and my mom are fighting. I wanna leave so bad.” Jamie said as she started sniffing a little, “Michelle came over with her new boyfriend Michael and when they left, he started drinking so bad and yelling and bitching and he hit my mom.”

“Shit.”

“I just came and locked myself in my room.”

“Just don’t go out. Stay in there until you have to go to school in the morning. Don’t say anything to him.” Nick said, “I’ll be home in three days and everything will be fine.”

“I wish I would hurry up and graduate high school and get out of here.” Jamie said, “I keep telling myself 3 more months until I’m free to do whatever I want.”

“And you can be with me.”

“Yes.”

“I wish I could just get you away from there now, but I can’t. You’ve got school and you’re going to graduate. Your father hates me I know.”

“Hmm yes.” Jamie said as both her and Nick started to laugh a little.

“Okay this song is ruined.” Jamie thought as she turned the radio on, hearing Alicia Key’s new song and then just turned the whole stereo off.