Chapter 8

It didn’t take Kevin long to find Nick. He was sitting out in the arena, about fifteen rows back from the stage. Kevin walked up to him, but Nick didn’t say a word. Kevin sat down in the seat next to him, just staring at the stage like Nick was. They sat there a good fifteen minutes in silence before Nick spoke up.

“I know she was old, but I loved her a lot. I just can’t believe she’s dead. It doesn’t even seem real,” Nick said, still looking ahead.

“It’s because you’re here with us, it will feel different when you get home,” Kevin said.

“If you’re trying to make me feel better, you’re not doing a good job,” Nick snapped.

“Have I ever sugar-coated anything for you before?” Kevin asked.

“Hell no,” Nick said. “I feel bad, I can barely remember the last time I saw her. We’ve been on tour all year. Man I think it was like last April when I went and saw my family. I don’t even know if I told her that I loved her,” Nick said, as he bit on his lower lip trying not to cry.

“She knew,” Kevin said, “Don’t worry, she knew.”

Nick sat there trying to keep control, but tears were slipping out. He was trying his best to wipe them away quickly, he hated to cry, and crying in front of the guys was even worse.

Kevin put his arm around Nick a little, and Nick kept trying not to cry, until he finally just let go and cried into Kevin’s shoulder. After a few minutes, Nick stopped, sniffing away the last of the tears.

“You don’t have to go on tonight,” Kevin started, “We all understand.”

“No, I’m going on. I’ll have enough time to sit and be upset all the way home on the plane,” Nick said.

“You sure?” Kevin asked.

“Positive, let’s go get ready. I can hear the fans outside, I’m sure they’re gonna be in here soon,” Nick said, standing up.

Kevin also stood up, and started walking towards the back. “Kev?” Nick asked.

“Yeah?” Kevin answered, turning around to face him. Nick went to give him a hug.

“Just in case I don’t say it, I want you to know that I love you,” Nick said.

“I know,” Kevin replied, hugging him back. “And I know how you’re feeling right now. I’m really sorry about your grandma, you know we’ll all be there for you.”

“Thanks,” Nick said, “I’ll need ya.”

Nick did make it through the show that last night, only getting slightly emotional during “Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely.” Not to worry, Brian covered his part. Nick flew home early the next morning, while the guys stayed to wrap up one more television interview and then they were going to head back for the funeral themselves the following day.

Ever since his mother had called, Nick had been feeling very emotional. But he was trying his best to keep it together. He was usually very good at just letting things go, not letting things affect him. But he’d never had to deal with someone he loved dying before, and he didn’t know how to feel or how to act.

Going home on the plane was torture. He already hated flying, and now that he was so upset, he kept getting sick almost the entire way home. And it was a long flight. He finally moved himself right next to the restroom, saving the long walk from first class. He kept trying to sleep, praying to God that he’d wake up and be home. He couldn’t get back to Orlando soon enough.

Hours later, Nick got off of the plane finally, going and claiming his bags. Amber was there waiting for him. When he saw her, he smiled. His first smile in the past three days.

“Hey you,” she said, going up and hugging him. She leaned back, taking his face into her hands and looking at him. “You okay? I’m so sorry Nick. Even though I know those words don’t really help, but I am sorry.”

“Thanks,” Nick replied, as he kissed her on the lips lightly and hugged her again. “Let’s go home.”

Nick sat in the car while Amber drove them back to his house. She was talking about something, but honestly, he was barely listening. Kevin was right, being home did make it seem more real. He felt like he was going to be sick again.

Nick snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his name being called.

“What?” he answered.

“You didn’t hear me?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, my mind’s just wandering,” he said, as he took her hand and laced his fingers in hers. “Thanks for driving, I’d probably have run us off of the road.”

“It’s okay,” she said, as she flipped their hands over, kissing the top of his hand. “You just lost your grandmother, it’s understandable.”

“Thanks,” Nick said, as Amber let go of his hand and turned up the radio.

“Hey! It’s your new song! Man I heard this the other day. I love this song,” she said, as the beginning of ‘Rain’ played through the speakers, and she went to singing along.

Nick just looked out his window, the knot in the pit of his stomach tightening. Now he really WAS going to be sick. As he looked at the scenery, thoughts began to run through his head of when him and Samantha was standing in the rain that day when she told him everything.

“Why won’t you answer my question..”

“What?”

“When was the next time that he did that to you?”

“Prom night..”

“Prom night…. That’s when you two
were… No…”

“Yes, he raped me. That’s why I came
home that night and I called you and that’s the night I got pregnant with Megan.”

“That son of a bitch…has he done that to you again?”

“No.. after I had Megan I gave in to him,
but I hate it.. because every time I’m with him, I think of prom night…”

“And he yells and hits you and shit like this… Why didn’t you tell me the first time he did that or just break up with him?”

“I couldn’t at first… I loved him and then prom night, we weren’t really dating after that but we were in everybody else’s eyes and I broke up with him at graduation but he just talked me right back into it. Then the day that I found out I was pregnant I went to go see him and tell him and he was yelling and everything and I was like fuck it and then that’s when I called you… I called you and you told me to come to Jacksonville….”

“You can’t go back to him, not this time. Shit.. we’re wet.”

“So.. It feels good.”

“Yeah… You’re gonna stay here with me.”

Nick was snapped from his daydream when he realized the car had stopped and they were sitting in front of his house.

“You sure you’re okay?” Amber asked him, as she brushed his arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, as he smiled at her. She smiled back, and they leaned in for a kiss.

“Grandma!” yelled Megan as she ran downstairs and jumped into Maggie’s arms as her and Roger walked through the door.

“There’s my baby.” said Roger as he took Megan from her and hugged her.

“Thanks for coming.” said Samantha.

“It’s no problem…” said Roger, “Ryan was busy today with football pracitise so it’s good.. plus we get to see our girl here.”

“So you’re going to go see her grave and to visit her parents?” asked Maggie.

“Yeah I’m gonna go see them and then go to the cementary.. spend the night in Tampa and come back tomorrow I suppose.” said Samantha.

“Well it’ll do you alot of good.” said Roger.

“Yeah… you know what Jake told me.” said Samantha, “He told me to go get Megan a good father and when I asked him how do I find one and I made a joke at Walmart, he said to follow my heart and the first thing I thought of was her… so I’m gonna .. I’m gonna go see her.”

“Well don’t be in no rush to do that. You’re doing good on your own.” said Maggie.

“I’m not.” said Samantha as she smiled, “I’m not in a rush.. I just wanna follow my heart..”

“Well go follow it and we’ll see you tomorrow.” said Roger as he hugged Samantha.

“I will.” said Samantha as she smiled and hugged and kissed Megan goodbye, “I’ll be back tomorrow baby okay?”

“Okay mommy.. I love you.” said Megan.

“I love you too.” said Samantha as Roger and Maggie walked out with Megan and Samantha looked around, “Tampa here I come…” as she walked upstairs to get her things so she could leave.