Chapter 5

Three weeks had passed and it was now October. Samantha had been busy working and also getting a lawyer so that she could get in contact with Jake and have him sign over his parental rights to Megan.

Everyday while at work she had to play “Rain” which was even outdoing “Answer To Our Lives” on the charts, and it wasn’t even an released single; radio stations were just playing it becuase people wanted it. She couldn’t bare to listen to it. She always left the studio when she had to play it. She’d hit play and then walk out until it was over and the next song on the playlist was playing. Everytime she heard it, she would think of Nick and that wasn’t good for her.

Two days before, Samantha’s lawyer had called her saying that he had been in contact with Jake and he had agreed to sign over his rights to Megan, under one condition: That he got to see them one last time. Samantha didn’t know what to do but she agreed to it under one condition: That Jake didn’t tell Megan who he was. Jake agreed and he was on his way to St. Augustine.

“Damn..” said Samantha as she walked around her bedroom nervously as Megan sat on her bed looking at her.

“Damn is a bad word mommy.” said Megan as Samantha looked at her.

“Yes it is, so don’t say it.” said Samantha.

“I’m sorry.” said Megan, “Can I watch Britney?”

“Yes, go put her tape in.” said Samantha, “Wait shit I have to.” as she started to walk into Megan’s room with Megan right behind her.

“Shit is a bad word too mommy.” said Megan.

“Don’t say what I say Meggy.. didn’t I tell ya that?” asked Samantha as she put Britney Spears’ home video in.

“Yes.” said Megan when Samantha heard the doorbell and froze, “Oh we have visitors.”

“No okay you stay in here and you watch Britney until I tell you to come downstairs, do you hear me?” asked Megan.

“Yes Mommy..” said Megan as Samantha looked into the mirror. She walked out of Megan’s room, shutting the door and walked downstairs and up to the door when the doorbell rung again.

“I’m coming.” said Samantha as she unlocked the door to see Jake standing there and a woman behind him.

“Hey Sam.” said Jake as he smiled.

“Hi..” said Samantha, “Um, hi.”

“Okay yeah this is um.. this is weird.. Samantha, I want you to meet my fiancee Pam.” said Jake as Samantha opened the door.

“Hi.” said Samantha.

“Hey, I’ve heard alot about you.” said Pam.

“Yeah why don’t you two come on in..” said Samantha as Jake and Pam walked in and Samantha looked around as she shut the front door.

“You’ve got a nice place here… so where’s Nick?” asked Jake as Samantha looked at him.

“Nick?” asked Samantha.

“Yeah Nick Carter, the guy you left me for…” said Jake.

“I don’t know where he is.” said Samantha, “I think they are on tour right now.”

“You don’t know.. I know you were in that earthquake with him. I thought you were together now, especially when I saw this house.” said Jake, “And when you want me to sign over my rights, I thought he was wanting to adopt her or something.”

“No… I haven’t seen him in almost 2 years.” said Samantha, “I just wanted to get things over with.”

“Yeah…” said Jake as he looked around, “This is a nice place, what do you do?”

“I’m one of the head DJ’s at a station here.” said Samantha.

“Still in radio.. cool.” said Jake as he looked over at Pam.

“So how long have you two been together?” asked Samantha.

“Almost a year.” said Pam, “All Jake could ever talk about was you and your little girl.”

“Yeah..” said Samantha, “Umm.. do you want me to go and get the papers?”

“Sure..” said Jake as Samantha started to get up and Megan ran downstairs crying with a messed up video tape in her hand.

“Mommy.. Mommy… Britney’s gone!” yelled Megan as Samantha picked her up.

“Oh the VCR ate it up.. I’ll get you another one.” said Samantha as she realized Jake was in the room.

“Is that her?” asked Jake as Samantha put Megan down.

“Yeah..” said Samantha.

“God she looks just like you.. doesn’t she Pam?” asked Jake.

“Yes she does.” said Pam as Samantha watched Jake, almost wanting to cry.

“Hey there, what’s your name?” asked Jake.

“Megan Nichole Simpson, what’s yours?” asked Megan as Jake started to laugh.

“Daniel Jackson Simpson, but you can call me Jake.” said Jake as he looked over at Samantha.

“Do you like Britney?” asked Samantha.

“Britney?” asked Jake as he looked at Samantha and she mouthed the word “Spears” to him, “Ohh Britney Spears, yes I do, she’s very pretty.”

“She’s my favorite singer.” said Megan.

“She’s mine too.” said Jake.

“Mommy do you know Jake?” asked Megan.

“Yeah… we went to school together.” said Samantha, “Remember I told you about my friend Megan who I named you after?”

“She’s with the angels.” said Megan.

“Yeah, me and my friend Megan, and Jake. We all went to school together.” said Samantha.

“She’s really smart and she’s not even 3 yet..” said Jake.

“I know.. I have her in a good daycare and I work with her and stuff. She can spell her first name already.” said Samantha.

“You can?” asked Jake as Megan nodded her head yes, “Umm.. Sam, you wanna go talk like we were about to?”

“Sure..” said Samantha, “Um Pam, will you watch her for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” said Pam as she got down on the floor to talk to Megan as Samantha and Jake walked into the kitchen.

“She’s so cute.” said Jake.

“Yeah and you act like a different person.” said Samantha.

“I kinda am.” said Jake.

“Kinda am?” asked Samantha.

“After you left.. I went and got counseling and all that. I was in it for about 9 months.. and I met Pam.. she had the same problem.” said Jake.

“Well I’m glad you’re happy.” said Samantha.

“Yeah.. and why are you alone?” asked Jake as Samantha looked away, “What went wrong with Nick?”

“He was in love with me.” said Samantha.

“Well duh Sam, I could have told you that.” said Jake, “And you were in love with him, what was the problem?”

“That’s the problem… I didn’t love him like that.” said Samantha, “Something happened with us during the earthquake and we told each other we loved each other, but I didn’t realize until afterwards that he really really meant it and I didn’t mean it like that and he told me I had to choose him because he couldn’t go back to being just friends or I had to choose nothing and I chose nothing.”

“Damn…” said Jake as he looked down.

“I didn’t want to depend on anybody anymore. I’ve always depended on somebody. First my parents, then you, and then Nick and I didn’t want that anymore. I wanted to make a life of my own.” said Samantha.

“You loved me right?” asked Jake, “Even though I was an asshole and did that all that horrible shit to you?”

“Yes… you were my first love.” said Samantha as she started to cry and wiped her tears away.

“Then you love him more than you ever loved me.. Sam, you chose him over me that night you left. You love him.” said Jake as Samantha looked at him.

“I did, didn’t I?” asked Samantha.

“Yes and if you really loved me like you say you did and you could choose him over me, then you love him more and that’s probably the kind of love he wanted from you.” said Jake as Samantha crossed her arms and looked down.

“You’re probably right…” said Samantha.

“Well I’m going to ask you something concerning those papers there on the counter.” said Jake as Samantha looked at him, “I wanted to ask you, is it possible that I could see her once a year until she’s 18.”

“Jake..” said Samantha.

“Only as Jake. I’ll never be her father.. I’m not good enough to be that little girl’s father.” said Jake, “Just as a visit, like today. Just so I can see her. I’ll put it in my own writing on this paper here.”

“Once a year and just a little visit….” said Samantha.

“I promise.” said Jake.

“Jake.. don’t make me promises, you never did keep them…” said Samantha.

“I promise on Megan in there that I’ll keep this one..” said Jake as Samantha looked at him, “I fucked that one up… I understand, you don’t want that.”

“Not really that’s why I wanted you to sign them so that you could be out of our lives Jake.” said Samantha.

“Well.. can you alteast send me pictures of her twice a year or something, like her school pictures and all?” asked Jake as Samantha nodded her head.

“I’ll do that.” said Samantha as Jake picked a pen and leaned against the counter looking at the papers and signed his name.

“There you go.” said Jake as Samantha started to cry.

“Thank you.” said Samantha as Jake put the pen down and stood up, walking over to her and they hugged, “Thank you…”

“I’m always going to love you Sam, but it’s over for good now.” said Jake as they stopped hugging.

“Thank you..” said Samantha.

“You’re welcome…” said Jake, “Now.. now that she’s fatherless… go get her a father.”

“A father?” asked Samantha, “Where do I look, Wal-Mart?”

“Just follow your heart..” said Jake as he looked around, “I need to just go….” as he walked back into the living room, “Bye Megan.. can I get a hug?” as Megan walked up and hugged him as Samantha walked back in.

“Bye Jake.” said Megan as Jake stood up and looked over at Samantha.

“Bye Sammy.” said Jake as he took Pam’s hand and walked out the front door when Samantha burst into tears and sat down in the middle of the floor.

“Mommy what’s wrong?” asked Megan as she walked over to her.

“I don’t feel good.” said Samantha.

“You’re sick mommy?” asked Megan.

“Yes..” said Samantha as Megan sat in her lap and Samantha put her arms around her, hugging her.