Confession : My daughter is complete.

It must be around seven in the morning because the sun is shining through my bedroom window. I haven’t had any sleep except for maybe thirty minutes or so before I woke up just now. I spent the whole night making love.

It wasn’t just sex, which is kind of what it became after the first time with Austin. It wasn’t about getting off per se. It was about holding and kissing someone and showing them how much you really love them.

I’m lying here right now, with my head on Nick’s chest, feeling his breathe. For some odd reason, I don’t feel uncomfortable with him. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all last night. I felt more comfortable than I had in my whole life. I guess what I’m feeling is true and that I love him.

I think that I love everything about him. I love how much he wants to be a good father to Nichole. I love how much he cares about me and wants to give her a real family. I love how perfect he is, even though he’s not perfect. He’s not perfect at all, but I love that.

He was so nervous last night before we actually started to make love the first time that, well, he had sort of a relapse. You know, men trouble. In shorter and more bluntly, he went limp. He was embarrassed as hell and got mad at himself. I couldn’t really help but to laugh at him but it made me realize that I did love him.

Of course, that limpness didn’t last long because he was determined to show me what it felt like to make love for real and he did. God did he ever. The first time was so incredible and not just sex wise. I mean emotionally; it was emotionally incredible. I felt how much he wanted to kiss me in his kiss and how much he wanted to touch me in the softness of his touch.

We talked to one another afterwards, kissing a little. I never did that with Austin. With him we did it and then went to sleep. This whole experience was new to me. I felt like it was the first time that I had ever done it because what I experienced before was nothing like this.

“Savannah,” Nick whispered as I opened my eyes, smiling. “Are you awake yet?”

”I’ve been awake,” I replied, leaning my head up to look at him. “I’m just laying here thinking about everything. It’s kind of unbelievable,”

“For a while I thought that I would loose you to Austin,” he replied as I moved off his chest. I sat up in bed, looking at him. “Then when we found out, you know, I thought I’d never be with you because you would swear off men forever,”

“You were too irresistible,” I whispered, seeing him give me a huge smile. “You don’t regret any of this do you?”

”God no,” he said, sitting up in bed beside me. “Why would you even think that?”

”Nick, you made love to me and I’m pregnant with someone else’s baby,”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, with a confused look on his face. “The baby’s mine.”

“Nick, you know what I mean –“

”Savannah, it’s mine. Forget about him okay?” he said as I smiled at him. “Forget he ever existed.” I looked down at his hand as he leaned over, kissing me softly on the lips. Before I could help myself, I was kissing him back, almost positive that we were about to go for round five when all of a sudden my bedroom door flew open.

“MOMMY! DADDY!” Nichole yelled as we both jumped, moving our lips apart and stared at the door. I had totally forgotten that Diana had to bring Nichole by to get ready for school. “Mommy and Daddy! You’re kissing!” she said as she jumped up on the bed with us.

“Maybe you two should put some clothes on,” Diana said, peeking into my bedroom door.

“Oh Mommy, thank you for kissing Daddy,” Nichole said as she hugged my neck tightly. “Mommy, where’s your jammy top?” she asked, talking about my tank top. “Mommy you don’t have no shirt on!” She paused and looked at Nick who was shirtless. “Daddy has no shirt either!”

”Sweetie why don’t you go pick something out to wear to school okay?” I said as she hopped off of bed, looking at us as she walked out. “Go get dressed,” I said, reaching over for my tank top.

Nick giggled lightly as I found my pajama shorts and walked out of my bedroom to see Diana standing there with a smirk on her face.

“Well?”

”Yes,”

“Oh God, I’m so glad!” she yelled, grabbing me into a tight bear hug. I laughed lightly, seeing her look at Nick as he walked out of my room. “Welcome to the family!” she said, hugging him.

“Family?” Nick asked, laughing.

“Well, I’m Savannah’s substitute mother so yes, family,” she said as I looked over, seeing Nichole walk out of her room.

“Daddy, why were you and Mommy kissing?” she asked as I looked at Nick.

“Savannah, I’ll call you later okay?” Diana said as I smiled at her. I watched her as she walked out of the door and then looked at Nick who was picking Nichole up.

“Remember my secret?” Nick asked. Nichole nodded her head in return. “Well she loves me back,”

”Mommy, you love Daddy like Mommies are supposed to love Daddies?” Nichole asked as I nodded my head. “And Daddy loves you. Daddy, does this mean you’ll spend the night every night?”

“If your mama wants me to, I will,”

“Will you sleep in the same bed?”

”If she wants me to,” he said as they both looked at me. They both had the same look in their eyes and all I could do was smile.

“Yes, I want him to,” I whispered as Nichole started to giggle. “If he wants to, I want him to be here every night.”

”Nichole,” Nick asked as he looked at her, “What do you think about getting a new home,”

”But I like this home Daddy,”

”But I mean one near Uncle Brian and Baylee and one with a big backyard and a pool and swing set –“

”Oh yes!”

“And when the new baby comes, we can be a real family,” he said as he looked at me and smiled.

“Daddy, I love you so much,” Nichole said, hugging Nick’s neck tightly. “Now I’m going to have a Mommy and Daddy that lives together and kisses and loves like all my friends,”

“Yep you are,” I said, walking up to them and kissed her on the cheek. “Now we should get you ready for school.”

”Daddy, will you take me to school?” Nichole asked as he put her down.

”You bet,” Nick said as he smiled. “You go get ready with your mama and I’ll go take a shower and great dressed too.”

“Okay daddy,” Nichole said as she and I walked into her bedroom. “Mommy, I want to wear one of the t-shirts Daddy gave me with his picture on it with Uncle Brian, Uncle AJ…”

”What t-shirt?” I asked as Nichole reached into her bottom dresser drawer and pulled out a little white Backstreet Boys t-shirt. “Sure sweetie you can wear it.”

”Mommy, I love you so much,” Nichole whispered as she gave me a huge hug.

“I love you too baby,” I whispered, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted now, don’t you?”

”I have a Mommy and Daddy that kiss. I’m getting a little brother or sister, but Mommy, I really want a little sister to play Barbie’s with,” she said. I laughed in return.

“I’ll try to have you a little sister,” I replied as I began to help her get ready for school.

I smiled to myself, helping her get dressed for school. I laughed, seeing her point to Nick on the t-shirt, telling me that was her daddy. As I laughed, I could feel someone’s eyes on me. I turned around to see Nick standing there; he was smiling too.

At that exact moment I came to a conclusion about something in my life. I came to the conclusion that even though I have had a eventful few months, that it was all worth it. Going on the blind date with Nick lead me to find out that he was my daughter’s father. Then I had Joe Don come back into my life and I thought I fell in love with Austin lead me to realize where I really belonged and what I was too blind to notice and that was Nick. It was complicated and it led me to nothing but trouble, but it was worth it. If I had to do it again to get me where I am right now, would I?

In a heartbeat.