Rumor: Nick talks about me a lot and has a secret.

Today is the day that I meet with all the members of Nick’s group and his management for the first time. I’m a bit nervous but I feel much better than I did a week ago. A week ago Austin was all that was on my mind, but now it’s the very opposite. The only thing on my mind is this new job I’m going to get today and my daughter.

Oh yeah, and her father.

I can’t get Nick out of my mind. He’s stayed at my apartment every night except for last night. He worked late with the guys and stayed with Brian and Leighanne. I finally had a night alone with my daughter again and tried my best to see what Nick says about me. She won’t crack. She won’t tell me a thing. I guess that means my daughter is a loyal person and that I raised her right. It just makes me mad because I want to know so badly.

I haven’t told anybody what I’ve been thinking about, or better yet, who I’ve been thinking about. I’ve talked to Diana since, and she asked how things were with Nick. I told her that they were fine and that’s all that we said on the subject. I need to know what’s going on with me before I can tell anybody else.

I haven’t listened to music since the night that Nick got me to listen to a few seconds of one of his songs. I can’t stop thinking about that night though. I have watched one of the DVD’s that I bought. I watched Around The World, which was a video of them going around the world in a hundred hours. It was interesting and I got to see a whole other side of him.

Is it wrong that I think it’s a whole other side that I like?

I admit that when they started to sing, I put the television on mute, but I couldn’t stop myself from watching him. I don’t know what’s going on with my head lately. Three months ago I was a single virgin who’s life revolved around her daughter and work. Now, I’ve had two guys want me and I’m practically living with one. I’ve slept with one and I’m sitting here in this car, looking over at Nick wondering what it must be like to sleep with him.

I need to snap out of it, I really do.

“Savannah,” Nick said, as I jumped, looking at him. “Were you falling asleep or something? I’ve been talking to you for like a minute, calling your name.”

“No, sorry I was just thinking,” I replied, smiling slightly, “Am I dressed okay? Are you sure I didn’t need to dress up?”

”Savannah, you look fine. There’s no need to dress up with them. You’ve got the job already. You can work and wear those cute Rainbow Brite pajamas that you have if you want to,”

“You like my Rainbow Brite pajamas?”

”Hey, I’m a 80’s kid woman,”

”Yeah I know,” I said, looking back out the window, listening to him as he started rambling off about some 80’s movie. My mind drifted back to what he said about my pajamas. Did he call them cute? Were they cute, or was I cute in them?

I’ll probably never know the answer to that question.

We arrived at the recording studio, where we were going to have a meeting in one of the meeting rooms. I was completely nervous as we walked in and I saw the other guys in the group, talking to one another. I knew Brian of course and had talked to AJ on the phone once. I didn’t know the other ones, but Nick introduced me to them: Kevin and Howie.

How Nick introduced me is what shocked me most.

He introduced me to them as “The best and prettiest mother in the world,” and kissed me on the cheek. I think Brian knew that I was a little confused as to what Nick just did but I blew it off, and began talking to them. They were all really nice guys, especially Howie. Nick says that’s how Howie is naturally.

As their management came in we all went to the meeting room and I felt very uncomfortable. I felt out of place, as if I didn’t belong there. I kept looking over at Nick and he could tell I was a little nervous, thinking they all thought I was only getting this job because of Nichole.

I spoke up, telling them that I wanted the job, because I needed the job, but I didn’t want it if I was only getting it because of who Nichole’s father was. Johnny, their manager, assured me that wasn’t the reason. He said that Nick gave him a portfolio of my writing samples and that’s what got me the job. I was taken aback. How and when did Nick even get or make a portfolio of my writing samples? When Johnny said that, I looked at Nick and he smiled at me. I looked at the others who looked as if everything was normal.

I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

“So basically what you will be writing are press releases for the guys, things to send to different magazines, and help out with writing the articles and entries on their official site,” Johnny said as he handed me a thick three-ring binder full of papers. “That’s some past history and press releases on the guys so that you can get the feel of it and some history,”

”That you didn’t find online,” Brian said as the others laughed. I looked at Nick who looked away. He obviously told them about my little adventure, looking him up online.

“And she’ll be traveling around with us right?” Nick asked as Johnny nodded his head, “Good.”

”But, what about Nichole?” I asked, looking at Nick. “She has school,”

”Well, this is what we were discussing with Johnny,” Kevin said as he spoke up. We’re going to try and be gone on the weekends, and not all week long. Brian doesn’t want to be away all week long and Baylee attends the church nursery school too.”

“Yeah so if we’re gone for a day or two, she can always stay with Leighanne and Baylee,” Brian said as I looked at Nick.

“And on weekends or when she’s out of school, she can be with her parents,” Johnny said as he cleared his throat, “Which leads me to something else. How re we going to handle this situation about Nick being a father?”

“Well Johnny, I think I’m handling it pretty good so far. It was weird at first –“ Nick said, as Johnny interrupted him.

“I meant with the media. They will find out sooner or later,” he said as I looked down at the three-ring binder. “I assume that you don’t want people to know that she was adopted,”

“No,” I said, speaking up. “I don’t want anybody to know that,”

”Then you two must have been involved, or are involved,” Johnny said as I looked over at Nick, “Neither of you have significant others right now do you?”

”No,” we both said as we both looked back at him.

“Then that’s your decision,” Johnny said as he looked down at another piece of paper. He started discussing something over with Howie and I stared back at Nick. I had no idea on what to say about the matter. It definitely wasn’t up to me. It would be up to him. It’s his decision. It affects him more than it does me.

After a few more details, the meeting was adjourned and I told Nick that I wanted to go home. I did have a lot of reading to catch up with. I heard Nick tell Johnny that he would call him later, when he came to a decision on why we’re both Nichole’s parents and if we had a past relationship. It was nice meeting the other guys and their manager, but Nick shocked me in that meeting and I wanted to know why he did that.

“Nick,” I said, looking over at him as he drove my car back to my apartment. I had no idea why he was always driving, it just worked out that way. “How did you get a portfolio of my past writings?”

”Research,”

”Research?”

”Yeah, Howie, Leighanne, and I did some research on your past articles and we put it nicely in a portfolio to present to Johnny,” he said, looking at me. “A little surprised?”

“Just a little,” I replied, opening the binder to read the first page. “So this is like the history of Backstreet?”

”I suppose so,”

”You were thirteen when the band got together?” I asked, looking at him again. “How were you thirteen? What about school?”

”I was tutored on the road and in recording studios,” he said, looking at me again. “That’s why Brian and I are making sure that our kids get a real education. I’m not going to do that with Nichole,”

“Speaking of Nichole,” I replied, closing the binder. “What are we going to do about what Johnny said.”

”If we had a past relationship or we’re together now?”

”Yeah,”

”Well, I was thinking that if we said that we were together now, it would look as if I lied to my fans all of these years –“

”Oh yeah, true, so we had a past relationship?”

“Well, that would be odd. If we had a past relationship, what are you doing working so closely to me now? That’s odd,”

“So what?” I asked as he pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building.

“I say, we had a short, brief relationship in the past. Let’s say during one of the time periods that Mandy and I were broken up. We ended the relationship and you found out you were pregnant, and never could get in touch with me again until recently. Now, we’re back together and let’s just say you quit your job at that magazine so that your daughter could be closer to her father who she’s been apart from for so many years. How’s that?” Nick asked as he smiled at me.

“It’s like you’ve thought this all up. Do you have a title for the script and who will play our roles?” I asked as he started to laugh.

“I was thinking for me, Brad Pitt and for you, we need a red head so, maybe, Julia Roberts, but she’s kind of old –“

”Julia Roberts my ass,” I replied, laughing. “More like Rosie O’Donnell –“

”Oh bullshit, Yes Julia Roberts,” he said, turning around in the seat. “You’re like a in between Julia Roberts and Lindsay Lohan, the only two redheaded actresses that I can think of off the top of my head that are good enough to play you. You’re not as old as Julia but you’re not as young as Lindsay,”

“Brad Pitt is forty Nick,”

”Yeah but he looks damn good for a forty year old man,”

“I didn’t realize you were into that type of thing,”

”Well, I read this magazine quiz you did and you said if you could sleep with any actor, you put Brad Pitt,”

“That’s because I couldn’t think of anybody else,”

”I’m an actor,”

”I’ve never seen you act in anything,”

“Maybe it’s time to change that,” Nick said as I rolled my eyes, looking away. “So do you think you’re going to like this job?”

”I think so,” I said, looking back at him. “I’m just in shock that you actually did that with the portfolio,”

“I wanted you to get the job Savannah, that’s why,”

”Why though?”

”Because you’re Nichole’s –“

”Besides that reason,”

”Well, you’re a good writer and you’ve been good to me so I wanted to help you out,” he said as I smiled. I didn’t know what to do or say. I decided to do something else in stead. I leaned up, kissing him on the cheek gently and backed away.

“Thank you,”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said as he smiled, “But you can let me borrow your car so that I can go buy my own with Kevin,”

”You’re gonna buy a car?”

”Yeah,” he said, nodding his head.

“Okay,” I said, opening the door up. “Are you going to pick Nichole up then?”

”Of course,” he said, with a cheesy grin on his face. “Be back in a little while,”

”Bye,” I said, closing the door and watched him as he drove off.

I didn’t know what to do, to say, or to think. My mind feels like it’s running a 100 miles per hour race with it’s self and I’m loosing. My body doesn’t know what’s going on and neither does my brain. There is one thing going on and I don’t think it’s what I ever expected.

I think I have a crush on Nick.