Confession: It’s scary how much life can change in the blink of an eye.

Two weeks have passed since the night I went out to dinner with Nick, Nichole, Brian, Leighanne, and Baylee. A lot of things have changed, and a lot of things haven’t changed. That night, by the time Austin got me back to my apartment, I was drunk as hell and we ended up having sex on my living room floor. We then moved to my bedroom before Nick brought Nichole home. I was already passed out by then so Nick got her to bed, and stayed the night on the sofa.

I woke up to the sound of Nick and Austin having an argument in my kitchen. Austin told him he didn’t belong there and Nick told him he could say the same thing about him. I didn’t know what to say to them so Nick told Nichole goodbye and he left for the day. Austin went on and on about how immature Nick was until I finally told him to shut up, that Nichole was here and I didn’t want her to hear him talk about her father that way.

I later talked to Nick and told him that we needed to work out a schedule, about when he could stay over, and when he couldn’t. It didn’t seem as if him and Austin were going to get along and that was going to be a problem. So far, it’s worked pretty good except for a few days ago, when Austin came over really early and Nick was here, still asleep. They ended up having words with one another until I finally made them both leave. Neither of them really liked that.

The only thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that I don’t have a job, and I don’t even have any idea on how to get a job around here. The last two weeks, I’ve been sitting around my apartment, actually writing a story. I’m basing it on my life, sort of like an autobiography. Nick and I took Nichole to Six Flags and I talked with a older woman while waiting for Nick and Nichole to ride a roller coaster. I told her my situation and she suggested since I loved fiction so much to give it a try while I was in between jobs.

Nick has been really supportive of me in my career problems. He’s been in talks with people about helping me out with a job. He talked with Teen People and Entertainment Weekly, but they weren’t looking for anybody at the moment. That’s when he offered me another job – the Backstreet Boys’ official biographer.

An official biographer is a person that writes up articles and stories about a person or group, and passes them along to other magazines. Most of the time, they write autobiographies about their clients. He talked to the other members of his band and their management and they all thought it would be a great idea. That way I would have a job and he would see Nichole more when they weren’t in Atlanta. It would be easy for me to still live in Atlanta since Brian and Leighanne lives here also.

But I still haven’t accepted the position yet.

I’m not sure if I want to put myself into the position of relying on Nick for a career. I’m not the type of person to use someone to get a job. That’s one reason why I could never do that at Kiss & Tell. I want a job because I deserve it. Austin says that it’s a bad idea and that I should wait for a better job offer. I talked to Diana and Brian and they both think it’s a great idea. It was actually Brian’s idea to start with. He thinks that if Nick is around me more, that I would be a great influence for him.

A job is very important to me but so is love too. I don’t want a job that will cause me to leave Austin, because I’ve come to love him, but I know Nichole not having her new father around when she’s grown so accustomed to him being here, will be hard too. I don’t want to see my daughter suffer. That’s the most important thing to me – my daughter.

“Mommy,” Nichole said as she walked into the kitchen where I sat at the table, staring at my laptop. “Mommy, what time is Daddy coming tonight for our sleepover?”

“He’s not sweetie, remember?” I said as I turned around to look at her. “He has to work tonight, remember? He has to go have dinner with his friends and their manager about work.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Nichole whispered. She reached up, twirling her hair slightly and smiled. “Mommy, is Austin spending the night?”

“It’s just us girls tonight Nichole,”

“Why isn’t Austin coming?”

“He has a lot of homework for class and he has to work late at the hospital,” I replied, looking at her. “You’re so used to having one of them here, huh?” She nodded her head and walked up to the table, sitting down in the chair next to me. “Austin is spending the night tomorrow,”

“Mommy, I don’t like it when Austin sleeps over,”

“What?” I asked, looking at her. “Why not?”

“Because he sleeps in your room and I can’t,” she said, putting her hands on the table. “Why doesn’t Daddy sleep in your room when he stays over?”

“He thinks the couch is more comfortable,”

“Mommy, is Austin going to become my second new Daddy?” Nichole asked. I paused, wondering what to say. “Daddy said that one day I would have two Daddies and that Austin might become my second daddy one day.”

“Nick said that?” I asked as she nodded her head. “Well yeah, one day you might have two daddies sweetie. If I get married, you’ll have two daddies. If Nick gets married, you’ll have two mommies.”

“Daddy said that I would only have one,” Nichole whispered as I laughed lightly. Nick must be afraid of marriage – a lot of guys are like that. “Mommy, I don’t want Austin to be my new daddy. Daddy and I don’t like him.”

“I know sweetie,” I said, leaning over to pick her up. I put her in my lap and brushed her hair out of her face. “I like Austin, and once you get to know him better, you’ll like him too baby, I promise.”

“I want you and Daddy to be like Samantha’s Mommy and Daddy,” Nichole whispered. I looked at her questionably. “Mommy, her Mommy and Daddy are married and they both came to eat lunch with her at school today.”

“Nick and I don’t have to be married for us to come have lunch with you at school baby,” I whispered, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Just because Nick isn’t my boyfriend or husband, doesn’t mean that we love you any less.”

“Okay Mommy. I’m gonna go in my room and play with my baby dolls,” Nichole said as she gave me a hug.

I watched her as she ran into her room and I sighed. My daughter hates my boyfriend. That’s just what I need. She’s in love with Nick but hates Austin. I sighed, looking over at the clock, wondering how long it would be until my life was perfect. Come to think of it, it’s going to take a long time for it to be perfect.

Standing up, I walked into the kitchen, to the refrigerator and paused, seeing a picture that Nichole drew on the door. It was of me, her, and Nick and we were in front of a huge flower. I laughed, thinking that it was a nice picture until I realized that there was a flower behind us. My daughter had the imagination of a best-selling author, when I, a writer, could not stick with a job because, basically, I suck.

Just when I banged my head against the refrigerator, I heard a knock at the door. I was hoping that it was Austin to save me from the night full of depressing thoughts I was about to have. I put the carton of orange juice I was holding on the counter, and walked towards the door, looking out of the peephole.

Joe Don.

I froze. I didn’t know what to do. What was Joe Don doing here and more importantly, why the hell was he here to see me? I heard him knock again as I started to pace around, wondering what I was going to do.

“Hey Joe Don,” I whispered, opening up the door to see him standing outside. I looked down, realizing I was wearing a little pair of shorts that made me look twice my size and a tank top. Great, now I look like a really flat slob. That’s when I realized he was staring at me. “Joe Don? Hey, hm, what’s up? Why are you here?”

“I made a mistake,” he whispered, walking up to me. I looked at him, with a confused look on my face. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day we had lunch Savannah,”

“Oh my,”

“I broke up with my girlfriend,” he whispered, moving his hand to the side of my face. “I had to come and see you because I can’t get you out of my mind.”

“Joe Don…”

“No, I’m not crazy,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss me slowly. I tried to move away from his lips but I couldn’t help myself. I was kissing him back. It was the one part of him that I could never resist and that was his kiss. I knew I had to though. “What’s wrong?” he asked, as I moved my hand over my mouth.

“This is totally unexpected,” I said, walking in the hallway and closing the door behind me. “Joe Don –“

“No, listen,” he said, reaching down to hold my left hand, “I thought that I was doing the right thing by moving on. I thought that the problem between us would never let our relationship grow anymore, but I was wrong.”

“I know, we could have a relationship without any music –“

“I know we can and I love you and I miss you and Nichole –“

“Joe Don,” I said, trying to get the words out of my mouth. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to tell him about Austin or Nick. I looked up in his eyes, realizing that he was dead serious in what he was saying. “I loved you too…”

“You still do right?”

“Of course I do, I’ll always love you –“

“That’s just what I wanted to hear –“

“There’s someone else,” I said, looking down again. “Actually, there are two people,” I looked up at him, seeing that he was in shock. “I’m dating a guy that I really like and Nichole’s father is in her life now.”

“Her father?” he asked, staring at me, “Savannah, listen, that’s fine that Nichole’s father is in her life. She needs that, but I love you and I came here to tell you that I want us back together,”

“Baby, we can’t,” I replied, looking down at my hands. “I’m with someone else and it’s not Nichole’s father. I think I’m falling in love with him,”

“Oh,” he said, moving away from me slowly, “I didn’t know.”

“No, you didn’t,” I replied, looking at him. “The day we had lunch together, I wanted us to get back together too. I wanted it so bad and then you looked so happy so I never said anything –“

“Then forget about this other guy –“

“I can’t –“

“Okay,” Joe Don whispered as he looked down the hallway to see Nick walk up. “Nick the Backstreet Boy,”

“Hey, Rascal Flatts guy,” Nick said as they shook hands, “Something I should know Savannah?” he asked as he started to laugh.

“So you’re dating a Backstreet Boy now?” Joe Don asked as I stared at him. “I guess you really were over the whole music thing –“

“No, I’m not dating Nick,” I replied, looking at Nick, “He’s Nichole’s father. The guy I’m dating is actually a medical student. He’ll be getting his license in a few months to practice on his own.”

“Oh,” Joe Don said, looking back at Nick and then at me again. I could tell that he was hurt. “Well I think I’ve made a fool out of myself. Take care of yourself,” he said as he started to turn around, “Nick, later.”

“Later man,” Nick said as I watched Joe Don walk down to the elevator and bypass it, going down the stairs. “What was that about? How do you know him?”

“He’s my ex-boyfriend,” I whispered, looking away. “I feel like I just did something really bad.” I turned around, facing the door and leaned my head against it. “I loved him, hell, I still do –“

“But what about Austin?”

“I love Austin too,”

“That’s what I thought,”

“Why does love have to be so complicated?” I asked, turning around to face him. “Why can’t it just be simple, like riding a bike for the first time?”

“Because if it was,” Nick said as he shrugged his shoulders, “if it was that simple and easy then everybody would be happy and the world wouldn’t be filled with trouble.”

“I wish I could go back to a few weeks ago when I had no boyfriend, and I didn’t have any guys throwing themselves at me. I would have my job and my daughter and that’s it,” I whispered as I began to cry. “I wouldn’t feel guilty for hurting someone that I love and wouldn’t be standing here crying yet again feeling like a failure.”

“Oh, you’re not a failure,” Nick whispered, walking up to me. He put his arms around me, hugging me tightly. “At least you have two guys wanting you. I have nobody besides the fans who just want a piece of me.”

“You have Nichole,”

“I meant a girlfriend, a lover type thing,” Nick said as I opened my eyes, looking around. He was right. I did have two guys wanting me, but I felt like I made a huge mistake by letting Joe Don go.

I just hope I made the right decision.