“You didn’t think of it that way, did you?” I asked.

“No,” he sighed, taking a sip of water. “It just hurt me.”

“It hurt me too,” I whispered. “Every time I would have a job interview, someone would mention me breaking the story and it would be like another stab in my heart.”

“I need something else to drink” Nick muttered as I shook my head.

“No, you don’t,” I said as he moved the chair back to the table, resting his arms and head on it. “Nick, if that stuff is hurting you, you don’t need to put it in your body.”

“It takes away the pain.”

“Find another way to get rid of the pain.”

“What? Fucking cut myself like the emo kids?” he asked. “No thanks.”

“Write.”

“I’ve tried and nothing comes out about that.”

“That what?”

“I’ve written about everything but her,” he said, looking up at me. “I don’t know what to write. I didn’t know her. Hell she wasn’t even a day old.”

“What was her name?” I asked as he shook his head. “You didn’t name her?”

“Charlotte”

“I like that name.”

“Name of your street,” he said as he looked down. “Well the street you lived on. I don’t know if you still live there.”

“I do.”

“I had to go back to Nashville to record after I left that day and I walked by there and then saw the street sign. I had been talking about baby names with Brian and Leighanne and saw Charlotte,” he said as I stared at him.

“Brian and Leighanne?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking up at me. “We came up with agreement that they would raise her but that she’d know that I was her real father.” I just stared at him before finally looking up. “Becca fell and the next thing I knew she was in labor and had the baby before I could even get there.”

“Did you at least get to see her, you know..” I said as he shook his head.

“We were in Japan doing promotional stuff for the album. I got the first flight I could but I was a few hours too late.”

“That’s why it hurts you so bad, isn’t it?” I asked as he put his head down on the table. “You didn’t even get to –”

“I know, you don’t have to remind me,” he muttered. I could tell he was crying. I didn’t know whether I should go over to comfort him or just let him be.

“Why don’t you let me take you back home or wherever you’re staying,” I said as he looked up at me. “What?” He didn’t say anything. “What, Nick?”

“I came here for a reason,” he whispered as I looked away. “Do you realize it killed me just sitting across from you today?”

“Nick, you need to leave,” I said as I stood up from the table and walked over to the door. I looked back to see him still sitting at the table, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. “I’ll sit here and talk to you as long as you need about whatever you need to talk about except for that.”

“You practically ran out of the room today,” he said, turning to look at me. “Crying. Brian told me. You can’t say that you cried because you were happy. It killed you too.”

“I’m not going to do this again,” I demanded. “I don’t want to see you this way but you’re not going to use me to get over your daughter, Nick. You hurt me once and you promised you wouldn’t do that.”

“Karie,” he said, chuckling. “I didn’t mean it that way.” He was lying.

“What way?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m a little drunk,” he said, running his fingers through his short blonde hair. “Yeah, I shouldn’t drink and I probably shouldn’t have came here, but I didn’t come here to start back where we left off.”

“Good,” I said, walking away from the door. “I made a promise to myself after you that I wasn’t getting involved with anybody else that I possibly have to report on anymore.”

“Good,” he said, standing up. He looked over at my laptop and back at me. “Writing about us?”

“The band? Yes,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “At least I was trying to. The interview was a little stressed.”

“Just don’t write about what we just talked about –”

“I promised I wouldn’t, didn’t I?” I asked as he nodded. “Seriously, if you ever need to talk to someone, I have the same cell phone number.”

“Are you trying to kick me out?”

“I need to work,” I said as he nodded. “I have an article about you guys plus a review of a new single from this country singer and –”

“When do you leave for Nashville?” he asked as I stared at him.

“Tomorrow,” I said as he nodded. “I’ve been out here a week already.”

“Can I use your bathroom before I leave?” he asked as I nodded, pointing to the bathroom. I watched him as he walked over to the bathroom and looked at me before walking in.

[/Karie]

[Nick]

“What the fuck are you doing Carter?” I whispered, staring at myself in the mirror. “I came here for a reason? Way to be fucking smooth.”

I splashed cold water on my face and looked back at myself in the mirror. I might be a little drunk but I’m not drunk enough to make stupid decisions, or did I do that when I came here?

I went to a bar and sat there for hours just thinking about what I wanted to say to her. Then I get here and completely break down like a pussy whipped pussy.

I’m such a fucking pussy.

I wanted to be a bad ass. I wanted to be harsh to her and mean. I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. I wanted to come here and make her realize how much she hurt me. What do I do? I break down and tell her things that I can’t even talk to my best friends or therapist about.

Then I see the look on her face when I talk to her and I realize how much I hurt her by choosing the baby over her, even though she chose her job over me.

Nick, you okay in there?

“Be out in a sec,” I said, drying my face off with a towel. I reached over and opened the door to see her standing there. “Sorry, I washed my face off to snap out of it a little.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “I called you a cab so they’ll be down there in a few.” I smiled, not saying anything. “Listen, I’m sorry about the baby and I really mean it.”

“I’m sorry for walking out on you the way that I did,” I said as I walked past her and towards the door. “Sorry for crashing your writing session tonight.”

“It’s okay,” she said as I opened the door and looked back at her.

“We might be recording some in Nashville so, if we do, wanna go grab a bite to eat or something?” I asked as she stared at me. “Just casual, that’s it.”

“Eating is good,” she nodded.

We stood there staring at one another. I didn’t know how to say goodbye to her and I’m pretty sure she didn’t know how to say it either.

“Good luck on the article,” I said as I finally stepped out of her hotel room and started to walk down the hall.

I started counting my steps, trying my best not to look back. I always saw in movies that if the guy looked back to see the girl still standing there, she still had feelings for him.

“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself, looking over my shoulder to see her leaning against the door frame.

She still loved me.

[/Nick]