[Karie]

When I was little, when my cousins were all playing house and school, I was pretending to be the lead singer of Wilson Phillips or Loretta Lynn. I never wanted that domestic life. I never wanted the husband and the kids.

So why the hell has that been on my mind so much lately?

I sit at work, working on an article about a new album that’s coming out and all I can do is think about Becca, who is getting bigger every day, and the little girl she is carrying.

Then I think about Nick and it all comes crashing down.

I finally finished my work for the paper right at deadline. The copy editors and designers were not amused. My boss wasn’t happy with me because I couldn’t make a single news report about a rumored new Garth Brooks album take shape.

It’s so unlike me.

“I know something is going on with you, but really, keep your focus on your work,” Greg said as I nodded before stepping into the elevator, leaving the office. “You’re better than this, Karie!” he shouted as the doors closed.

I thought about what he said on the bus ride home. I didn’t feel like walking so I took the bus. I hardly ever take the bus unless it’s raining and there’s no cabs around. The office isn’t far from my apartment building but I didn’t have the energy.

Plus, when my brain is working overtime, I usually trip and fall a lot because I’m clumsy.

“Hey Miss Karie,” Mrs. Witherington, an older lady who lives in my building, said as I walked into the lobby of my apartment building.

“Hi Mrs. Witherington,” I replied. “How are you?” I asked, opening my mailbox, only to pull out a rose.

“Oh, a secret admirer?” she asked, closing her mailbox. “Maybe that young blonde guy I’ve seen you with a lot recently?”

“I doubt it. He probably just had someone bring it to me,” I smiled, smelling the rose. “He’s in California working.”

“Well take care sweetie, you work too hard,” she said, walking through the double doors that lead to her apartment that was on the first floor.

I closed my mailbox and began walking up the steps to my floor while sorting through my mail. Bills, bills, bills, college alumni crap… nothing really, except a rose. I smiled, smelling it again as I reached my floor and paused.

Rose petals on the floor, leading down the hallway.

I began walking, following the rose petals and smiled as I saw that they lead directly to my apartment door.

It had to be some cruel joke. There was no way Nick had come to Nashville. He couldn’t have.

I walked down to my apartment and unlocked the door, slowly opening it. I noticed candles lit all around the room. The bastard was copying me. That or this really was some trick.

“Hello?” I asked as I put my things down on the floor and shut the door back. “Is anybody here?” I looked down, feeling Prue rub against my leg and sighed. She wasn’t purring like she normally would be so I knew that both she and Scarlett had been fed.

I walked towards my bedroom and paused, seeing Nick asleep in the soft, comfortable chair that sat in the corner of my room. I put my hand over my mouth, not believing that he was actually here.

“Nick,” I said, walking up to him. I put my hand on his face and moved the pillow in his lap so that I could straddle his waist. “Nick, wake up.”

“Karie?” he asked, opening his eyes to see me. “Damn, I fell asleep didn’t I? What time is it?”

“Almost midnight,” I said, kissing him deeply before either one of us could say anything else. He backed away from the kiss and stared at me. “What?”

“I didn’t get to surprise you like I wanted to,” he said. “Surprise,” he said, causing me to giggle slightly. “After your call, I had to come here.”

“Nick, it’s driving me crazy, I think,” I said as he nodded. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about lately.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” he asked.

“I didn’t want to but now it’s affecting my work. That’s why I’m so late tonight because I barely made deadline and just, I don’t know Nick. I need to know what’s going to happen with this before it drives me crazy thinking about it,” I said as he nodded.

“Well what do you want to do?” Nick asked as I stared at him. “We’re both here and you’ve met Becca and you two seem to get along great and you know everything about the situation now.” I nodded. “What do you want to do, Karie?”

“I can’t –”

“I can’t make the decision on my own either because I don’t want to lose you,” he said as I looked down at his t-shirt, running my hand over it.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. How could I tell him that this child that he didn’t plan for could be the breaking point in our short lived whirlwind romance?

“Nick,” I said, taking another deep breath. “I just don’t want kids, I’m sorry.”

He stared at me, in shock. I knew he wasn’t expecting that answer.

“You want the baby, don’t you?” I asked as he finally looked away. “Nick, listen, I’m sorry, but I can’t back down from what I know that I can’t handle or want to handle.”

“It’s not that I want the baby,” he said as he stood up and walked to my bed. “I’m not ready to be a father.”

“Then why?” I asked.

“I told you,” he said, turning around to look at me. “I can’t imagine the kid going somewhere with people who I don’t know. It’s still a part of me.”

“Then what about Brian? He and his wife said that they would be willing to adopt the baby,” I said. “They want a baby, Nick. I don’t want a baby. Deep down, you don’t either.”

“How do you know that?” he snapped.

“You just said that you didn’t.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be the one that is responsible 24/7 it, but it doesn’t mean that I want the kid to know me as his father –”

“Her father,” I said, reminding him that it was a girl. “And who is supposed to take care of it 24/7 if I were to go along with this? Me?”
“I didn’t say that –”

“You didn’t have to,” I said, standing up to face him. “Nick, I’ve worked way too hard to even get to where I am today. I’m not going to give that up to raise someone’s mistake that I don’t want.”

“I don’t want you to,” he said, turning around and walking into my closet.

“Where are you going?” I asked, walking to the door to see him gathering his things together. “What are you doing?”

“Listen,” he said, not stopping his packing to even look at me. “I love you and I want to get to know you better and everything but I don’t think this is going to work.”

I glared at him. Did he really just say that?

“So it’s over?”

“I think so.”

“Because of something that I didn’t have anything to do with?” I asked as he stood up straight to look at me. “Nick, this baby has nothing to do with me. Hell, I didn’t even know about it until after we were already together!” I started to get upset. I couldn’t hold it in.

“Karie, you have to put yourself in my shoes,” he said.

“Put yourself in mine,” I snapped back. “If I had gotten knocked up by some guy right before we met, would you stay with me and help raise a baby that wasn’t yours?” He looked away and I snorted. “That’s what I thought.”

With that, I turned around and walked into the living room, looking around for anything that belonged to him.

“Karie,” he said walking out of my bedroom with most of his belongings.

“You’re leaving, really, aren’t you?” I asked, turning around to look at him. “If I was the one that was pregnant with someone else’s kid, you would toss me to the curb, but you expect me to be something that I never wanted to be.”

“I guess so,” he muttered. I walked to the front door and opened it for him.

“You lied to me,” I said as he picked up another one of his bags and walked slowly towards me.

“I never lied.”

“I told you that you couldn’t hurt me and you nodded,” I said as he looked away.

“You’re the one that’s hurting me,” Nick said as I rolled my eyes.

“Just go,” I sighed as I watched him walk past me. I went to shut the door only to see him looking back at me. “I’m sorry but I can’t, Nick.” Tears were starting to roll down my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” he said as I shut the door and leaned my back against it.

I couldn’t control the tears anymore and they began flowing down my cheeks at a steady pace. I knew it was better to get the decision out of the way so that we didn’t beat around the bush anymore, but I never knew he would pick being a father, something he wasn’t ready for, over me.