[Nick]

Walking into a hospital is the last thing I want right now. I’d rather be anywhere than in a hospital, in Los Angeles, doing what I’m about to do. I’d rather be in Nashville, going to some country concert with Karie. How sad is that? What has my life become?

As I walk around the corner, I see her sitting there. Becca. She was best friends with one of my friends here in Los Angeles’ girlfriend. I run back around the corner so that she wouldn’t see me. I could see a baby bump.

My heart’s racing. I can’t breathe. My chest feels tight.

How could I make the mistake of getting this girl pregnant? She was a good girl, a senior at UCLA, and a huge Backstreet Boys fan. She, unlike a lot of the girls that I messed around with, wouldn’t tell a soul about the things we did together. I trusted her.

I wonder if I trusted her so much that she got pregnant?

I swallowed and looked around the corner. She tucked her long, brown hair behind her ears and looked up to see me. She waved and I waved back. I couldn’t hide anymore. She saw me. I couldn’t hide. I couldn’t turn around and leave, change my name and pretend that Nick Carter never existed.

“Nick, are you okay?” Becca asked as I blinked my eyes, seeing her stand before me. “You’re pale as a ghost. You’re scared shitless aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am,” I said, looking down to see that she was already slightly showing.

“We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to.”

“I have to go back to Nashville,” I said, looking at her. “We’re recording and I’ve kind of met someone out there.” She smiled. “So, we kind of want to know these results and so we, you know, we can figure out what we’re gonna do.”

“Is she nice, I mean, what’s she do?” she asked as I smiled and nodded.

“She’s a journalist for the newspaper there,” I said. “That’s how we met.”

“That’s great,” she said, motioning for me to follow her. “They said that they would rush the results for us and I’m going to get my second sonogram today if you want to see.” I nodded and watched as she walked up to the nurses’ station to tell them that we were there. “Yes ma’am. Dr. Johnson said that this would all be taken care of today,” she told them as the nurse nodded and started to call someone.

“Thanks for being so great about his,” I said as she looked at me and smiled. “You could have been a total bitch and went to the press and all of that stuff with this and you haven’t.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” she said, looking at me. “I don’t want to throw this on you either if it is, just, we need to figure stuff out, you know? I’m already putting my graduation of a semester.”

“How sure are you that it’s mine?” I asked as she sighed. “Pretty good chance?”

“I only slept with one other guy around that time,” she said, looking at me. “You know me, I’m not one to sleep around. It was just this guy that I had a class with last semester and we were working on a project and one thing led to another.”

“Becca?” a tall man said, walking up to us.

“Hey Dr. Johnson,” Becca said as we both stood up. “This is Nick that I was telling you about.” I shook his hand and he smiled, knowing that I was nervous.

“Well are you ready to get test done?” Dr. Johnson asked.

“How soon will we know the results?” I asked as Becca and I followed him down the hallway.

“By the end of the weekend,” Dr. Johnson said. “Usually it takes six or seven days, but I’m going to put a rush on this since Becca explained the situation to me.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said as we walked into an examination room and I sighed, watching the door close.

[/Nick]

[Karie]

Last night was… amazing. We slept all night in each others arms and Nick woke me up this morning in a very delightful way. To say the least, I had never been woken up that way before. It was… interesting but amazing all at the same time.

Then he had to leave.

Mama said that I should probably get used to that because he’s always on the go but I don’t think that it’ll ever get easier to know that it’s true. He’ll be gone a lot, especially when they get done with the album and release it. He’ll be gone for weeks at a time, not just days like this weekend.

“Karie, how are you!” I heard as I turned around outside the arena to see a familiar face. It was Sally, who was a producer for CMT that I had become friends with from visiting different functions and singing in different bars. “I knew you’d be here today.”

“One of the biggest shows of the year,” I smiled, hugging her. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she smiled. “But where the hell have you been? I haven’t seen you out singing in a while? Are they killing you at the paper?”

“Nope, I um,” I smiled, wanting to laugh. “I’m kind of seeing someone so that’s pretty much why I haven’t been out and about.”

“Really? Getting serious?”

“Sort of,” I smiled, looking down at the press pass I had on. “He’s gone somewhere on business this weekend, so I’m out and about working instead.”

“What does he do?” Sally asked. I knew she would ask that.

“He’s in the music business,” I slyly said, causing her to smile. “He’s in the industry so he understands what I do and I understand what he does.” She smiled and went on to talk about the concert that was happening that night.

[/Karie]

[Nick]

“So, we should have the results by tomorrow?” I asked as Dr. Johnson nodded. “Good, thanks for getting everything done so fast. We really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Dr. Johnson said as I watched him apply some jelly looking material to Becca’s stomach. “We’re just going to do a quick sonogram to make sure everything is okay after the procedure, okay?” I watched Becca nod and look towards the monitor.

“You’re sure the needle didn’t hurt the baby?” Becca asked as Dr. Johnson nodded.

“Everything should be perfect,” he said, rubbing something that looked like a short, thick dildo on her stomach. Suddenly there was a heartbeat. “Here that? That’s the heartbeat.”

The heartbeat. That sound is the heartbeat of a baby that could be mine. That could be my child’s heartbeat. How weird is that?

“It sounds good, right?” Becca asked.

“Strong and healthy,” he said, holding his glasses down and looking at the monitor. “Do you kids want to know the sex?”

“What sex?” I asked.

“Of the baby,” he said as I looked at Becca who shrugged.

God, why were all the decisions being casted upon me? I didn’t even know I this was my baby or not.

[/Nick]

[Karie]

“Yeah Mama, the concert was great,” I said as my mother and I walked into my apartment later that night after the concert was over. She kept going on and on about how great Kenny Chesney was.

“You’re just depressed because you miss Nick,” she said as I sighed, walking into the kitchen to take my nightly medicine. “Have you heard from him?”

“He’s texted me to say that they took the test and he should know them by the time they came back tomorrow,” I said, swallowing my pills and taking a sip of water. “That’s it really. He’ll call me later, I’m sure. He was supposed to meet with those people and AJ tonight.”

“I don’t think you could have picked a better boyfriend,” my mom said as I sighed, watching her as she looked through some papers that were on my coffee table. “What’s this?” she asked, picking up the CD. “It says demo.”

“Demo?” I asked, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. “It has to be Nick’s.” I took the CD from her and looked at it. “Oh, he mentioned a song the other night and that he brought the CD home for me to listen to it but we never did.”

“Backstreet song? New?” my mom asked, sounding like a teenybopper.

“Yeah…”

“Let’s listen,” she said, practically ripping the CD out of my hand. I laughed and sat down on the sofa, petting Prue. I watched my mother put the CD in the stereo and turned it up. A poppy beat started and she looked at me and smiled. “I like it so far,” she said, sitting down next to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Its 3 am, I can’t sleep
Too late to call this is not like me
But I’m still lifted from the tattoo on the small of your back
The angle of your chin when you were looking back

“You have a tattoo on the small of your back,” my mother said, putting her hand over her mouth. “It’s about you.”

See, god you’re beautiful and I’m still coming down
I’d like a one-night stand, that had to stick around
But I’m still floating from the perfume you left on my sheets
I haven’t changed a thing since your goodbye to me

I smiled, thinking about the night that I stayed at his apartment and in his bed, yet he slept on the sofa.

Tonight I stare out the window…
Knowing I’ll never again be alone

Last night you changed my life
And I’m stuck in the moment that you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life
Last night you saved my life

“Karie, I think this is about you,” my mother said as I nodded.

“He told me that he wrote a song about me,” I smiled, grabbing a throw pillow and held it against me, wrapping my arms around it.

Your fingernails running down my spine
All day I hear your voice like velvet in my mind

God, I don’t know if my mother should be hearing this.

It’s like I knew you all my life even though we just met
My children in your eyes, something you don’t expect

Children?

I had to stop myself from calling all day long
I’m glad you called me first, I wanted to be strong
But you were laughing ’cause I answered after just one ring
I tried to play it off
But you knew everything

I smiled, thinking about our emails that we sent back and forth, not wanting to call one another but he finally did. Still, I’m stuck on the children comment.

Last night you changed my life
And I’m stuck in the moment that you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you saved my life with your love

Last night you saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you saved my life

Ohh yeah

I stare at the sky looking for the morning sun
Can’t wait to tell you you’re the only one
Last night you saved my life

And I’m stuck in the moment you kissed me the first time
Last night you saved my life with your love
Saved my life (saved my life)
Last night you changed my life

The song ended and I sat there in shock. He really wrote a song about me and they recorded it. This is our song – our song. It’s us. It’s me and him. I looked at my mother who had tears in her eyes and I had no idea what to say.

“My children in your eyes, something you don’t expect?” my mother asked as I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together. “He loves you.”

“I know, Mama,” I said, opening my eyes. “He probably wrote and recorded that before he knew about me,” I said, looking at her. “What if it’s his?”

“Then the baby is his,” she said. “It’s not like you’re going to break up with him because of something that happened before you started dating.” I looked at her and then looked away. “Karie, I know how you are about kids, but come on, forget I’m your mother for a minute.”

“God, Mama…”

“You love him, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you marry him?”

“Mama!”

“Answer me,” she said as I sighed and shrugged. “You would, don’t lie.”

“Not anytime soon but maybe later down the line,” I said, looking at her.

“If you’re serious about being with him, you’re not going to let something as innocent as a baby come between you two,” she said as I looked away. “He wrote this song about you. He obviously loves you. If you love him as much as he loves you, you’re going to be there for him whether this is his baby or not.”

“I know that,” I said, getting a little pissed off. My mother was good at doing that to me. “It’s not that I won’t be there for him, it’s whether or not I can support his decision on what he decisides to do if the baby is his.”

“Meaning… if he decides he wants to keep it?”

“Yes. I’m not ready for that. He’s not ready for that.”

“Do you think I was ready for you? I didn’t think I could have kids and I got you,” she said, causing me to lean my head back and close my eyes. “Your body can’t handle having children, Karie, and as crazy as this might sound, this could be the only chance you have to having a kid.”

“Mama, I don’t want that,” I said, looking over at her.

“So if this is Nick’s kid and he decides he wants to take care of it and be a father to the baby, you’re going to tell Nick to go to hell?” she asked as I glared at her. “Karie, grow up or you’re going to end up alone. If you’re in a relationship, it’s not always about you.”

I sighed, closing my eyes again.

“You don’t want to mess this one up, so don’t make a mistake,” she said.

[/Karie]