Chapter Forty - Two

“He left?” Elisabeth asked as she stood up from the bench, and looked around the mall, taking a deep breath, “Um, did he leave anything for me?” she asked as she sat back down, and looked over to see a woman looking at her.

“No, do you know him?” Lance asked as Elisabeth rolled her eyes.

“I met him at the mall yesterday,” Elisabeth said as she put her right hand over her eyes, “I’ll be at the office in a little bit,” and with that she hung up and put both of her hands over her face.

He left because his wife was pregnant and that was more important? Elisabeth grabbed her bag and put it over her body and began to walk out of the mall in a hurry. What happened to what he said the night before, about telling his wife? Yeah, it all moved really quickly but she thought that they both agreed on it. Obviously not him.

She unlocked her car and got in, throwing her bag over in the seat next to her and laid her head down on the steering wheel. She kept hitting her fist on the steering wheel so that she could fight back the tears. That was sort of inevitable because they suddenly came strolling down her cheeks. Maybe he had to go back because there was another emergency? Either that or he really did just use her to have sex. It didn’t seem like it though.

She lifted her face up from the steering wheel, and began to wipe her tears away while looking in the mirror. She didn’t know whether to be pissed or hurt. It’s not like she was going to go running back into Nick’s arms. He still cheated on her. They weren’t together when she cheated on him, so she wouldn’t really consider it cheating. Nope, not all.

Nick sat there in Elisabeth’s apartment, looking around. He didn’t really want to sit there all day, knowing she was off with that American Idol guy, doing god knows what. It just ate him up inside. He stood up and walked over to the window slowly, putting his hands in his pockets and looked out the window.

He really, really loved her but he didn’t feel like just sitting by, looking like a complete idiot waiting for her to decide that he is her ‘one’, while she was off doing everything that she should be doing with him, with someone else. He just didn’t think he could sit by and watch it.

“Elisabeth,” Lance said as he peeked into her office to see her with her head layed down on her desk. She didn’t move. He knocked on the door lightly and walked in, shutting the door behind him, “Elisabeth?”

“Yeah?” Elisabeth asked as she lifted her head up, and looked at him, “What is it? Is it time to get ready?’

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked as he looked at her, “Is something wrong? You’ve been crying,” Elisabeth nodded her head no, and looked down at her desk to see that a piece of paper that she was laying her head on was soaked from her tears.

“No, just I’m fine,” Elisabeth said as she smiled at him, “Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, just wanted to let you know that word has it that the heads of the company really liked what we did with the Rascal Flatts special,” Lance said as he smiled, “So we did good,”

“Great,” Elisabeth said as she smiled fakely and looked over at a picture of her and Nick on her desk, “I think I’m going to start getting ready for the show,” she said as she stood up from the desk and looked around. She smiled at Lance again and walked over to the door. Lance stood there looking around and noticed that the paper on her desk was tear stained. He shook his head, figuring something had happened with Nick and shrugged his shoulders as he walked out of her office.

Elisabeth walked down to the make up room and sat down in the chair. She didn’t even feel like talking to the make up artist. She sat there staring at herself in the mirror, thinking about what she had done to herself. She was becoming what she didn’t want to be. She said she was only going to be with one man in her life and that was the person she was going to marry and she lied to herself. She didn’t do that. She fell for someone so quickly and slept with them. Maybe it’s because she was so hurt because of what Nick did and that’s why she thought that she had some connection with him.

All she really wanted to do was to get Nick back.

I remember a few weeks ago when my mother came up here, and we had this discussion about Nick, I told her that was living my life so that I wouldn’t end up like her. That I tried everything to not end up like her.

I’ve been thinking about it all day long. The way I just jumped off and slept with Joshua Gracin so quickly, because I thought I felt something with him - that’s something that my mother would do. It’s so what she would do. God I so have to get myself together.

It feels like everything in my life is tumbling down. Not only is my relationship with Nick shot to completely hell, I slept with a stranger who said that he was going to leave his wife for me and what, he leaves and doesn’t say anything else to me, and goes back to his wife. My mother is pregnant by her divorced husband, my father, and my little sister is knocked up and has no clue who the baby’s father is. On top of that, I was so distraught on the show tonight, that I made Andrew very mad. I didn’t know the President of CMT was there, and Andrew told me if I didn’t get into shape and stop acting like I was depressed on the air, that I could be looking for a new job.

I’m thinking about just going home and telling Nick that I’m sorry and that I forgive him for what he did, and if he can forgive me for what I did, then we can work it out because I really do love him. I just had this sudden impulse and it was a huge mistake. Then, I may just go home and go to sleep and wait it out. I don’t know which I want to do.

Most of all I want to take a long bubble bath and go to sleep.

Elisabeth walked into her apartment that night after work, looking dead tired and just wanted to be alone and go to sleep. She had to stay after the show because she got this long speech from Andrew about how she could not let her personal life interfere with her personal life anymore. Not only did she leave Daytona early when she wasn’t supposed to, she was totally off tonight on the show. She couldn’t really concentrate.

She locked the door back, throwing her things down on the floor and looked around. The apartment was quiet and dark. Maybe Nick was in the extra bedroom asleep. She didn’t really feel like looking. She walked through her living room and over to the staircase and began to walk upstairs slowly, unbuttoning her shit so that she could slip it off and just slip into a bubble bath.

Elisabeth reached her bedroom, and kicked her shoes off, and walked over to the bathroom part of her room, and looked on the mirror to see a post it note.

She took the post it down and walked back over to her bed. What did he have under the pillow? She walked up to the top of her bed and moved her pillow to see a piece of paper that was folded up. She reached down for it and stood back up, unfolding it.

It was a letter.

She blinked her eyes a little, and looked around to see her clock. It was almost eleven that night. She stood there, and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and opened them back up to read the letter.

Elisabeth,

I’m sorry for what has happened with us. I blame myself because if I didn’t do what I did in Daytona, you would have never just up and jumped off, sleeping with that guy. I know you and you only did it to get back at me, but you really seem to like him. And I’m not going to fight you on that, so do whatever you want with him. I just don’t think I can sit by and watch it, so I think I’m leaving and going home, or somewhere. I’m not sure yet.

I still want what I’ve told you that I’ve always wanted but I’m not so sure that you want it anymore if you have all these little sudden connections with this guy - so many connections that you just jump off and sleep with him. What I did wasn’t really cheating, it was but not in the full aspect, but what you did, that was cheating all the way.

I’m sure you’ll come home tonight, with this guy, and won’t even notice that this letter is under your pillow and probably make love to him again on top of it. That thought alone kills me. So I’m not going to be here. I don’t know where I’m going really but I’m leaving. I can’t sit by and watch you do it and have my heart breaking in the process.

So I’ll call you soon. I hope you have fun,

Nick

Elisabeth stood there and began to cry again. He moved the letter down to her side and turned around, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She put her hands over her eyes, trying to stop the tears but she knew she had seriously fucked up. She leaned back on the her bed, with the letter over her face when she suddenly felt something rub up against her leg.

“Come here Bunny,” Elisabeth mumbled in between the tears as she started to cry so hard so thought she could breathe, “Bunny?”

“It’s not Bunny,”