Chapter Forty

Have you ever done anything that you feel as if you’re going to regret for the rest of your life but in reality you don’t regret? That’s sort of how I feel right now, laying in my bed with a guy lying beside me. No this guy is not my so-called sort of fiancée, it’s a guy that I just met today.

I slept with Josh and I liked it.

But I’m just lying here, puzzled as to why I did it exactly. I keep biting my nails, wondering, and I have no idea. I just wanted to do it with him. I’ve never ever felt that way about anybody in my life before. I never felt that way with Nick. There was just this strong attraction there. It’s sort of like you see in those movies where people meet and sleep with each other instantly. God that’s exactly what it’s like. I really like him, but there’s just one problem.

I’m engaged and he’s married.

I mean granted Nick cheated on me with this slut whore of a bitch. But in reality, I’m no better than she is. I slept with a guy who has a wife and little girl. I’m just like Samantha, except I’m not as slutty as she is. I slept with a married man, but it’s a married man I really like. We just have so much in common and he’s so nice and just the way he looks into my eyes and he’s so genuine. I think he’s lying there feeling guilty too. How do I know? He told me a few minutes ago.

He said that he feels like he’s stabbed his wife and daughter both in the back, but that there was something about me that he really liked. He said that it was nothing that he had ever experienced before. That’s how I feel. Like maybe I made this huge mistake with Nick and he’s not my ‘one’. Maybe Joshua is my ‘one’. I always said that if it ever happened that it would just slap me in the face, and well this really slapped me, but in a good way.

In a really good way.

I just don’t know what to do. I feel like a slut almost although he told me not to feel that way, because I wasn’t. How doe she know? He barely knows me. I guess I don’t give off a slut presence; either that or I suck in bed and he can tell that I’m basically a virgin. I’m just scared of what’s going to happen next. I don’t want to hurt Nick, but you know what?

He hurt me.

“Want anything to drink?” Elisabeth said a little bit later as her and Josh walked downstairs. Joshua walked over, picking his t-shirt up off of the floor, putting it back on, and walked over, picking up Elisabeth’s shirt, “Coke? Sprite? Mountain Dew?”

“Coke is good,” Joshua said as he walked over to her, handing her the t-shirt she had on, “Here, better get this,”

“Thanks,” Elisabeth said as she put it on the kitchen counter and handed him a can Coke. He smiled at her, opening it up as he walked back into the living room, and sat down on the sofa. She stood there a minute, taking a deep breath and looked at the back of him and pressed her lips together. She didn’t know what she was doing but for some reason, it felt nice, “So um,” she said as she walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the sofa, and looked over at him, “How long are you in Nashville for?”

“Until Wednesday, then I have to go back to work,”

“Work?”

“I’m in the Marines,” Joshua said, “I’ve finished my Idol duties until the tour starts in a few weeks and I still have, like a year to serve in the Marines,” he said as he looked down at his drink and back over at her. “Listen, I’m sorry about what happened tonight if it’s not what you wanted and you regret it -”

“I don’t regret it,” Elisabeth said as she looked at him and then back down, “I feel guilty because I feel as if I’m no better than Samantha because of what she did with Nick, I did to you and you have a wife and a little girl -”

“I don’t regret it either,” Joshua said as Elisabeth smiled a little, “I feel guilty too. I’m not into that kind of stuff. I mean okay, I like to have sex, but I mean cheating on my wife and sleeping with people that I just met. I’m not into that,”

“Me either,” Elisabeth said as she started to laugh, “To be honest, it’s only the second time I’ve ever did it,” she said as Josh looked over at her, “I lost my virginity Thursday night to Nick and then Friday he cheated on me,”

“Are you serious?” Joshua asked as Elisabeth started to laugh, nodding her head yes, “I never would have known,” he said as he smiled, “Seriously,” Elisabeth blushed. She didn’t know whether to say ‘thank you’ or what. Of course, she didn’t have time to do anything because at that moment the door opened and Nick walked in, seeing her and Josh sitting there on the sofa.

“Um, hi,” Nick said as he looked at them, kicking the door shut, “Company?” he asked as he stood there, looking in shock at Joshua, wondering where he knew him from, “Don’t I know you?”

“Yes I have company,” Elisabeth said as Nick looked at her and then nodded his head, walking over to the guestroom, and shut the door. She took a deep breath and looked down as Josh moved his hand over on top of hers rubbing it a little.

“Want me to leave?” Joshua asked as Elisabeth looked up at him and nodded his head no, “Okay, I’ll stay. I’ll need to go back to the hotel later or the damn American Idol people that’s with me are going to start wondering,”

“Okay,” Elisabeth said as she smiled, “Thanks,” Joshua mouthed the words ‘no problem’ to her and she smiled even more, “Do you wanna watch one of the Garth DVD’s I told you about?”

“Yeah,” Joshua said as he smiled and Elisabeth stood up from the sofa, walking over to her DVD collection, “How about that first NBC special he did?” Elisabeth looked back at him smiling and grabbed it out and opened the box up, taking it out, “I haven’t seen that in forever,”

“I haven’t watched it in a long time either,” Elisabeth said as she laughed, putting it in the DVD player. Nick walked out of the guestroom, looking at Joshua and then at Elisabeth.

“Beth, do you have some paper I can borrow and a pen? I’m in the writing mood and I feel like writing some stuff,” he said as Elisabeth walked back over to the sofa and sat down, “Can I have a piece of paper?”

“Upstairs on my desk,” Elisabeth said as she looked back at him, hitting play on the DVD player. Nick looked at her, rolling his eyes as he started to walk upstairs slowly, cussing under his breath. He knew she just had this guy who he had no idea who he was, but he knew she was doing it to make him jealous.

And damn it, it was working - but then he reached the top of the stairs, looking into her bedroom.

Her bed was messed up. It was not made up like she had done that morning and like it was before he left to go to McDonald’s. It was all messed up as if someone had a ’small party’ in it. He began to breathe heavily and looked around the room until he looked down to see a empty condom wrapper on the floor.

He just opened his mouth in shock.

“The biggest person I’ve met?” Elisabeth asked as her and Joshua sat there on the sofa talking, “Probably Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. I did that CMT show where Tim was talking about his new album and Faith had invited Nick and I to dinner that night before so I can meet Tim and be comfortable. It was so awesome,” she said as Joshua laughed, “And I’ve met Shania once, backstage at the Flameworthy Awards last week. I’m going to be flying to London in like two weeks to host this Making The Video show she’s doing and only letting two people come for and I’m one of them,”

“Man, that’s so awesome,” Joshua said as he shook his head, “Did you ever think that you would be doing this kind of stuff?” he asked as Elisabeth nodded her head no and laughed.

“No, I mean I thought I’d have to work at MTV or something but I love country music mostly and luckily they wanted some VJ’s and decided to hire me. I mean did you ever think you would have gotten on American Idol?” Elisabeth asked as Joshua started to laugh as Nick walked down the stairs slowly, clutching his fist.

“No,” Joshua said as he looked over to see Nick and then looked back at Elisabeth, “I didn’t think I would make it to the final twelve, much less the final four,” he said as Nick sat down in the chair, looking over at them. Joshua looked over at Nick and then at Elisabeth as she looked over at Nick. They sat there a minute, not saying anything and Nick kept staring at the both of them.

“I love this part here where he sings ‘The Dance’,” Elisabeth said as she pointed at the TV, “I can’t believe you never saw him in concert,” she said as Nick rolled his eyes, looking at the TV for a moment before looking back at Joshua.

“Always had something else to do,” Joshua said as Elisabeth laughed. Nick looked at her, knowing that was her flirting laugh and wanted to know why she was doing it, “Maybe one of these days if I get a deal I can get some good seats and see him,”

“I hope you get one, that would be awesome,” Elisabeth said she smiled at him. Nick wanted to standup and slap the shit out of this guy even though he had no idea who he was. Probably some country singer like that Joe Don guy was. That was great. Just what he needed, another cowboy, “So are you gonna perform on the show tomorrow?”

“Yeah I am, I think I know what song I’m going to do now too,”

“Which is?”

“It’s Not Just Me,” Joshua said as Elisabeth smiled at him, “I still can’t believe that’s your favorite song too man. Everybody I know hates that song. They all like the other songs, the singles, but I just love that song,”

“I should introduce you to them if I ever get the chance. They’re really nice guys. You would like them a lot,” Elisabeth said as Joshua smiled at her and then saw Nick staring at him again, “Joe Don scared me a little at first but after hanging out with him Friday for the special, he’s a really nice guy. He broke up with his girlfriend from SheDaisy but they’re getting back together. There was some kind of communication issues and everybody in relationships should communicate with each other,” she said as Joshua wanted to laugh and Nick looked over at her.

“Yes they should, which reminds me, I’d better get back to the hotel,” Joshua said as he stood up, giving Nick a little wave. Nick just stared at him in return wondering who the hell the guy was still and why the hell did he wave at him.

“Here I’ll walk you out,” Elisabeth said as she stood up, following him over to the door. She unlocked it and opened it up, and they both walked out into the hallway and she shut the door, leaving it open a little. Nick didn’t let the opportunity pass and ran up to the door listening, “Sorry about him staring.”

“It’s only normal,” Joshua said as he smiled, “I’m really glad that I met you today, seriously. I don’t want you to think bad about yourself because of what happened either. You don’t have any right to feel bad. I’m the one that should feel bad, but I just couldn’t help it. There’s something about you,”

“Are you going to tell your wife?” Elisabeth asked as Nick’s eyes opened a mile wide. Wife? He’s married?

“Not yet. I think I’m going to wait until I get back to the base,” Joshua said as he looked down, taking her hand in his, “This is moving so fast it’s kind of scary isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Elisabeth said as she laughed, “You wanna meet at the mall tomorrow for lunch? Around noon? How are you going to get back to the hotel?”

“I’ll call a cab from outside,” Joshua said as Elisabeth smiled, “Noon sounds great. Same place?” She nodded her head as he smiled and they both leaned in, kissing each other lightly on the lips, “See you tomorrow,”

“Bye,” Elisabeth said as she watched him walk down the hallway. She crossed her arms, looking down and taking a deep breath, preparing for the hell that was about to happen when she walked in. Finally she took one last deep breath and turned around, walking back into the apartment to see Nick standing there with his arms crossed, staring at her.

This wasn’t going to be pretty.