Chapter Thirty - Three

You hurt him…

If there’s one thing that I have never wanted to do, it was to hurt Nick. I never, ever wanted to do that to him. I would kill myself before I hurt him. I guess I had better get the pills and razors ready, the rope and tie it loosely around my neck, because, well, I guess I did hurt him.

Now that I think about it, I think it’s true.

After I told him that we should just be friends, I thought it was a mutual agreement. He never said “But why? I love you.”. He went along with what I said and agreed with it. I never even thought about it hurting him. I know he kind of went on a down spiral after we broke up and started drinking and going out with AJ a lot before AJ went into rehab. Now that I think about it, maybe he was depressed. Maybe that’s why he took it so badly after AJ went into rehab and I made him come back and stay with me.

I hate hurting anybody. I’m one of those people that find it so hard to tell anybody know. I don’t like to talk about people because I’m afraid I’m going to hurt their feelings. It’s like when I was little and people would call me names, I would never say anything back to them because I was afraid of hurting them - although they were hurting me in the process.

That’s why I never want to hurt Nick.

I love him so much and like I said, even before we got back together, he’s the only guy that I’ve ever dated that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. Now I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I’m not scared by it. I just never wanted to hurt him and it hurts me to think that I hurt him.

Now I’m lying here in bed, and I can’t sleep. All I can do is look at him and think about hurting him. I wonder what he must have felt when I told him that we should stay friends. I can actually hear his heart breaking and I hate it. I should probably stop crying before he wakes up and hears me.

“We’re at the beaaach!” Nick yelled as they walked into their hotel suite the next morning. The bellboy, brought in their bags as Elisabeth tipped him, looking over at Nick who had ran to the window, “Would you look at that view! Elisabeth, come here?”

“Coming,” Elisabeth said as she shut the door, and walked over to the window to see the beautiful view of the Atlantic Ocean outside, “It’s beautiful,” she said as Nick opened the sliding doors, and stepped out onto the balcony. Elisabeth looked at him as the window blew through his hair and he looked back at her smiling. Elisabeth smiled, walking out onto the balcony as Nick wrapped his arm around her, “The ocean smells good,”

“Not as good as you,” Nick said as Elisabeth looked up at him, smirking a little, “Reminds me of Key West, when we shot the video. I got so damn blistered that day. You got so tanned,” Elisabeth laughed at him, moving hair out of her face from where the wind had blown it, “We had so much fun that day,”

“Yeah, we did,” Elisabeth said, moving her arm around him, smiling at him, “I want to have a date tonight,” she said as Nick looked at her, “Just me and you,”

“I’m there,” Nick said as Elisabeth started to laugh a little, looking out at the water while pressing her lips together. She took a deep breath and then started to giggle as she walked away from the balcony and into the suite. Nick looked back at her as he leaned up against the glass door, and crossed his arms, “Elisabeth, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” Elisabeth said as she walked over, taking her heeled sandals off and tossing them over in the corner. She looked back over at Nick who seemed to be smiling out at the ocean and smiled herself, wondering what he was going to ask, “What is it?”

“I don’t know how to say it,” Nick said as he looked over his shoulder at her as she stood there looking at him. He shrugged his shoulders and looked back out at the ocean as Elisabeth laughed a little, wondering what it was, “Do you ever wonder why we met?” he asked as he looked back at her again and she smiled.

“It was fate,” Elisabeth said as she walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, “Fate that I got a job interning at MTV and fate that I was actually working the day you guys came in,”

“Yeah,” Nick said as he walked off of the balcony and turned around, closing the sliding doors back. He looked over at Elisabeth who was reading the channel guide on the television and walked over, laying down across the bed, “So why do you want a date tonight with just me and you?”

“Because well it’s the one night off while we’re here and we could do something special,” Elisabeth said as she cut her eyes, looking at Nick and smiled, “Don’t want to?” Nick just nodded his head no and smiled at her, “I thought so,”

Elisabeth looked back at the television channel guide as she felt Nick’s hands move up the inside of her top, barely touching her skin. She smiled a little, biting her bottom lip as goose bumps rise up on her skin. She loved it when he did that. She remembered the first time he ever did that to her. She was laying on her bed asleep, the first weekend she went to visit him while he was on tour and he woke her up by doing that. Ever since then, every time he had the chance, he did it because he knew it got to her.

What were you and Tim whispering to each other last night?” Elisabeth asked as she pointed the remote at the TV and looked over her shoulder at Nick who smiled in return, “What? Guy secrets?”

“Guy secrets,” Nick said as Elisabeth’s cell phone rung. She jumped up, running over to her messenger bag that was on the floor next to their bags, and grabbed it out, answering it. Nick moved his head back, watching her as she stood there, crossing her right foot over her left. It had to be someone from work because they were talking about the next day’s agenda. Great, a guy that obviously had a thing for his girlfriend, would be walking all over the damn beach with her half-dressed. He reached his left hand up, rubbing his chin, thinking. Yes, he had to be there, behind the cameras all day. That was a must.

“I have to go have a meeting with Lance and Andrew about tomorrow. It’s just them,” Elisabeth said as she walked back over to the bed, crawling up on it and straddling Nick, sitting in his lap and looking down at him, “We have to go over some things for tomorrow and Saturday. Rascal Flatts won’t be here until the morning so it’s just them. They don’t know how long it’ll be and it’s already lunch so I figure we’ll order lunch there, but I don’t want to leave you alone -”

“I’ll be fine babe,” Nick said as he smiled, reaching up to take her hands in his, “Go do what you gotta do. I’ll go walk around the hotel and go down to the beach and stuff,” Elisabeth smiled at him and he scrunched his face up at her. Uh, that really got to her, “Come on, I’ll be fine. You came here to work, and you’ve got to work,”

“Okay,” Elisabeth said as she leaned down, giving him a little kiss on the lips, “Tonight you are mine. Don’t forget that okay?” Nick began to smirk a little as he closed his eyes, puckering his lips up again. Elisabeth laughed a little, leaning down to give him another little kiss, “Got it?”

“Got it,”

“And I’m taking my cell so you call me okay? And I’ll call you,” Elisabeth said as she crawled off of him and stood back up, “Tonight you’re mine,”

“I won’t forget,” Nick said as Elisabeth leaned back over, giving him a quick kiss. Nick looked back, watching her as she walked over to get her messenger bag, and walked out of the door, shutting it behind her. He laid there smiling, putting his hands behind his back. He sighed, getting up from the bed, and walked back over to the window, opening the sliding doors again. He took a step out onto the balcony and leaned back against the door frame, crossing his arms and smiled again. He couldn’t really remember the last time he smiled so much.

It was 7:30 at night. The production meeting went way overtime and Elisabeth was already pissed off about that. Her day with Nick at the beach was completely ruined and she was going to have to make a note that when they got back to Nashville, she was going to ask for her vacation time. She needed to be somewhere alone with Nick, and for more than a few hours time.

She had called him a hour before hand and told him to go ahead and have dinner, that she was getting a bite to eat with them and she was going to be out of there by 7:30 or else she was walking out. She didn’t think Andrew liked that thought very much, but to be honest she didn’t really care. She told Nick to meet her out at the beach behind the hotel, and that she would be out there shortly. He sounded understanding about it all, but she could tell that he was getting lonely and bored. I guess she’d just have to take care of that.

She walked up to the dock behind the hotel, that had steps, leaning down onto the sand. She had already went and changed into a little white sundress and in one hand was a bottle of champagne; in the other were two champagne glasses. She took a deep breath and smiled when she saw Nick sitting out on a towel, with his arms around his knees, looking at the ocean.

She began walking down the stairs, trying not to trip and break the glasses or champagne bottle. She started walking through the sand until she walked up behind Nick, leaning over to kiss him on the neck lightly, “Hey sexy,”

“Hey,” Nick said as he looked back at her as she walked around him, and sat down on the towel next to him, “You changed clothes and champagne?” he asked as he started to laugh, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek, “Special occasion?”

“Our date?” Elisabeth asked as Nick laughed a little as she popped the top of the champagne bottle which flew off somewhere in the far distance. As long as it didn’t hit anybody in the head and she didn’t get a lawsuit, she didn’t really care where it went, “I’m sorry it took so long. I didn’t realize there was so much stuff to go over,”

“It’s okay, you came here to work, and I knew that,” Nick said as Elisabeth poured him a glass of champagne, handing it to him, “You look beautiful,” he said as she smiled at him, pouring her a glass of champagne. She looked around, taking a big sip out of the bottle and sat it between her legs. She looked down at the bottle and then over at Nick who had a huge grin on his face.

“To us,” Elisabeth said as they clicked their glasses together. Nick drunk all of his champagne in one sip and looked over at Elisabeth who was doing the same thing. He watched her as the wind blew her hair in her face and she reached up, moving it out of the way as she moved the glass from her lips, “Ugh, damn hair,”

“Don’t you dare cut it,” Nick said as Elisabeth rolled her eyes at him, and sitting her glass on the sand beside her towel. She reached down, taking another sip of champagne from the bottle and then handed it to Nick who took another sip, drinking it all, “Not a very big bottle,”

“Not really,” Elisabeth said as she smiled at him, crossing her legs, sitting in Indian style, looking at Nick. She moved another strand of hair out of her face, smiling at him and he smiled back at her, then looked back out at the ocean. She sat there, looking at him, thinking about what Aaron told her the night before and all she could do was think about how much she must have hurt him. She wanted to ask him about it but she was scared.

“You know what I want?” Nick asked as he looked over at Elisabeth, moving his hands back behind him, propping himself up, “I want this huge boat, I mean huge, and sail the ocean,” he said as he looked back out at the water, “For days. Forever really. Just me and you, we could stay out there forever and not worry about any jobs or cell phones. There wouldn’t be any parents or brothers or sisters. It’d be just be me and you, alone, forever,” he said as he looked back at her, “Would you like that?”

“Yes,” Elisabeth said as Nick smiled at her and looked at the ocean again. She started crying a little, wiping a few tears away, and pressed her lips together, trying not to cry.

“Maybe it’ll happen one day. It would be nice wouldn’t it?”

“Yes,”

“Why are you crying?” Nick asked as he moved his arms and sat up, looking at her. He moved over, sitting on his knees in front of her, looking her in the eyes, “Elisabeth? What?” Elisabeth moved up, sitting on her knees and leaned over, kissing him on the lips slowly. Nick opened his eyes as the kiss ended to see that she was really crying now and he looked confused as hell, “Beth?”

“I never want to hurt you okay?” Elisabeth whispered as she put her hands on the side of his face. Nick looked at her, nodding his head yes as he moved his hands up, wiping the tears away from her face as fast as they came down, “And I love you more than anything and I can’t take it anymore,”

“Take what anymore?” Nick asked as he moved up closer to her, “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, searching into her eyes as she started to cry more, “What’s wrong baby?”

“Yes,” Elisabeth whispered as she leaned up, kissing his lips slowly. Nick kissed her back, sucking on her bottom lip and stopped, looking back at her, “Yes,”

“Yes what baby?” Nick asked as Elisabeth started to cry more, “What?”

“Yes I’ll marry you,”