Chapter Eighteen - Addicted

Do you know how sometimes you do things that you wish you had never did? I’ve done a lot of those in my life. Sometimes I wish that I had never become a singer because of the work. It’s so much work. I wish that I had been nicer to those skater people in high school that had the greasy hair. I could have atleast said ‘hi’ to them once in a while. I wish that I had never smoked that pot that time that gave me the biggest hangover and I had a migraine for three days afterwards.

And most importantly, I wish I’d never had slept with Nick. Not even the first time years ago, and definitely not what has been going on recently.

We haven’t been together in almost a week - but we haven’t fought. Actually we’ve kind of stayed close to ourselves and haven’t talked really unless it’s for work. I’m not sure what it is. Nick says that he’s sick, but I think he’s finally realized what the hell we’ve been doing and decide that it’s not right - which it’s not. It’s not right at ALL. I still can’t believe I’ve been doing this.

It’s like when you’re in high school and they say plaid skirts are back in - thanks to Britney Spears, fucking slut. So you buy one, in every color. You have a blue one, and then a pink one. Then you have the yellow one, and the traditional plaid skirt, and you wear one to school - and everybody is wearing one. You just fit into the trendy ‘what everybody’s doing’ and you want to slit your wrist.

That’s how I feel now about having sex with Nick. Not that everybody’s doing it and I want to slit my wrist but - okay I’m making NO sense right now. I think I need to have sex. Maybe I can put the moves on him. I do kinda miss being with him but that’s because I’m so used to it.

Plus, Matt, our so called little manager that’s going around with us has been hitting on me NON-STOP. It’s getting on my nerves so damn bad, you just don’t know. I’m going to bust, and when I bust, someone’s going to get hurt.

Help me! And shut up, I know that’s his song. Grr.

“Melinda, you need to get up and go rehearse. Nick’s done.” Matt said as Melinda sat there on a sofa, in her dressing room of the Hammerstein Ballroom. She looked up at him and then looked back down at her magazine, “Melinda -”

“Okay.” Melinda said as she stood up, tossing the magazine down on the sofa as Matt walked up closer to her, “What?”

“What are you doing later?” Matt asked as Melinda gave him a weird look.

“Not you.” Melinda said as she rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. She walked down the hallway, hearing the end of “I Got You” playing and reached the end of the hall, which was on the edge of the stage. She stood there a minute, looking around until Nick put the mic back up on it’s stand and started to walk over to her.

“Your turn.” Nick said as Melinda looked at him and then back at the stage.

“Go cool Matt off, he was hitting on me again.” Melinda said as she rolled her eyes and walked out on the stage, looking over at Michel and then walked up to talk to him.

“Hitting on you?” Nick asked as he looked down the hallway to see Matt walking out of Melinda’s dressing room. He turned around, walking down the hallway, until he came up to Matt and stopped him, “What did you do to Mindy?”

“Nothing.” Matt said as he held his hands up and tried to walk by him.

“Hey, I’m not dumb you know. I always see you looking at her. I told you she wasn’t interested in you.”

“She’s not gay like you said.”

“She’s not interested in you.” Nick said, “So like don’t do shit anymore alright?”

“Wow, you’re taking up for her all of a sudden.” Matt said, “Why, want her for yourself?”

“Fuck you man. You’re fucking married with kids man. Go call her your damn wife or something.” Nick said as he turned around and walked back to the side of the stage, as Melinda started to rehearse. He stood there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, watching her as she began to sing.

There you go again when you

Rub up against my skin

I have to catch my breath

I began to sweat oh,

Lips tracin’ down my neck and

it’s scarin’ me to death

How’d you learn to draw me

to the cliff

Just to push me off

Just to push me off the edge

Nick stood there watching Melinda as she stood there singing, looking down at the stage and then Matt walked up beside him. Nick looked over at him and moved slightly, like he was going to jump him and Matt turned around and walked away. Nick laughed a little to himself as he leaned back against the wall and looked back out at Melinda as she began singing the chorus.

Damn, I hate the way you know me and

Damn, you kill me when you hold me

Like I’m your world, like this won’t hurt

Like a favorite curse hittin’ every nerve

Damn I’m fightin’ and I’m losin’ and

Damn you, you’re pullin’ and

I’m pushin’

I’m wrestlin’ with

I toss and twist

Till finally I give in, Damn

He stood there in a daze, looking at her until his cell phone started to ring and he reached over, without taking his eyes off of Melinda, and cut his phone off, having his voice mail take the message. Melinda looked over at him for a second then started walking closer to his side of the stage.

I hate bein’ addicted only

You would have predicted that

I’d be torn and worn so thin

You can see right through

You can see right through my soul

Damn, I hate the way you know me and

Damn, you kill me when you hold me

Like I’m your world, like this won’t hurt

Like a favorite curse hittin’ every nerve

Damn I’m fightin’ and I’m losin’ and

Damn you, you’re pullin’ and

I’m pushin’

I’m wrestlin’ with

I toss and twist

Till finally I give in, Damn

The song ended and Melinda looked up after putting the mic back up on the stand to see Nick standing there, still looking at her. She looked around for a second, and over at Michel, then back at Nick wondering what the hell he was looking at.

“Melinda.” Matt said as he walked past Nick and out on stage, “You need to rehearse the others too.”

“I know the songs okay. I don’t feel like rehearsing.” Melinda said as Matt was about to say something, “And I know the first show is tonight, but really I’m not feeling like it. I’ve performed the songs hundreds of times and I know them.”

“Okay.” Matt said as Melinda rolled her eyes at him and walked past Nick, going down the hallway and then walking into her room, slamming the door.

“Is Melinda amende?” Michel asked as Nick shrugged his shoulders.

“No idea. Let me go see.” Nick said as he turned around and walked down the hallway, going up to her door and tried to open it, but it was locked, “Melinda, you alright?”

Just dandy.

“No, that means you’re not. Open up man.” Nick said as he stood there locking around until she cracked the door open. He looked down at it and pushed it open to see Melinda standing there, looking in the body length mirror, “What’s wrong?”, he asked as he walked in and shut the door back, locking it.

“Nothing.” Melinda said sad as she grabbed a strand of her hair and looked at it.

“You’re acting weird.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah.” Nick said as Melinda didn’t say anything, “Is it about you know, what’s been going on with us and -”

“No.” Melinda said as she looked over her shoulder at him, “It has nothing to do with that.”

“Then what is it?” Nick asked as he walked over closer to her, turned her around, facing him a little, “What is it?”

“NOTHING!” Melinda yelled as she turned around and grabbed her jacket off of the sofa, “Nothing is wrong with me. I’m perfectly fucking fine!”, she yelled as she put her jacket on, “I’m just fucking dandy.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Nick asked, looking at her, as she rolled her eyes and walked over to the door opening it up, “Melinda!”

“Just leave me alone Nick!” Melinda yelled as she ran down the hallway, and out one of the side doors. Nick just stood there in the middle of the hallway, confused as hell when Michel walked up to him.

“No, she’s not okay.” Nick said as he walked down the hall, going into his dressing room and slammed the door.

That night, after their first sold out show in New York City, everybody was making their way back to the hotel. After Melinda ran out of the theatre, she didn’t come back until it was time for her to get ready for her meet and greet, and then the show. She hadn’t talked to Nick any, except onstage after they finished performing “Review My Kisses” and had only spoken a few works to Matt.

Nick sat there looking up at Melinda in the van. She sat two seats up from him, next to Andi, their stylist. He didn’t know if she was mad at him about something or about Matt, or what exactly. After arriving at the hotel, they all made their way into the hotel and went to their rooms. Melinda beat Nick to their suite and when he walked in, he didn’t see her.

He looked around and then walked over to her bedroom, opening up the door to see that it was completely dark inside. He was about to shut the door when he heard something and opened it back up. He reached over, turning on the lights to see Melinda sitting over in a corner, crying.

“Melinda, what’s wrong?” Nick asked as he walked in, and sat down at the foot of the bed, in front of her.

She didn’t answer him.

“Mindy, what is it? Did I do something wrong? Is it Matt? What?” Nick asked as Melinda looked up at him. Her eye make up was smeared and tears were streaming down her face, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m tired of all of this.” Melinda said as she leaned her head back on the wall, “I’m tired of this dead career. It’s not going anywhere and I’m just waiting for my father to say ‘I told you so’. I’m tired of Matt always hitting on me. I’m so fucking tired of I want to just kill him or atleast kick him in the balls one good time, and then you -”

“Me what?”

“You’ve been ignoring me this week, it’s like I’m repulsive or something. I mean if you want to call off this little thing of ours, then cool - just let me know instead of having me think that you’re pissed at me or something.” Melinda said as Nick looked down and then back up at her.

“I’m sorry.” Nick said as Melinda looked away.

“I mean just tell me if you want this lil ‘business deal’ to be over or not, but don’t just keep me waiting.” Melinda said as Nick moved down on the floor, kneeling in front of her.

“I was afraid I was getting addicted to the little ‘business deal’.” Nick said as Melinda gave him a ‘what the fuck’ look, “I mean we were always doing it, so I wanted to see if I’d be okay if we weren’t.”

“Wow, I look needy now.” Melinda said dryly as she rolled her eyes and looked down.

“No, you don’t.” Nick said as he leaned over, cupping the side of her face with his hand and kissed her softly on the lips. He moved closer to her, and began to kiss her more deeply until she began to kiss him back.

Nick moved his hands down to her arms, moving her so that she was laying flat on her back. He moved his hands down to the end of her shirt and began to lift it up slowly. Melinda sat up and unfastened her bra, tossing it across the room while Nick took his t-shirt off and tossed it across the room. Melinda unzipped her skirt and Nick helped her get rid of that and her panties and then his pants and boxers somehow disappeared.

When they both had gotten rid of all of their clothes, Nick smiled and began to hover over her, leaning down to kiss her slowly. Melinda kissed his lips back, sucking on them and then began kissing her way down to his chin and to his neck, sucking and licking on it slightly.

Nick just closed his eyes in response, breathing heavily as she moved her right hand down his side slowly and reached in-between the two of them and started to touch him gently. He gasped for air a little as he opened his eyes and looked down at her and she bit her lip, looking back up at him.

He leaned over, kissing her deeply as she moved her hand all the way around and up and down over him. He moaned against her lips a little as he moved his right down to her hip, caressing it softly as he moved his hand in-between her legs and began to touch her gently. She moaned against his lips, sucking on them until she backed away and looked at him.

“If you stop teasing me..” Melinda whispered out of breath as Nick smiled at her, “I’ll stop teasing you.”

“Uh huh.” Nick said as he moved his hand back to her hip. Melinda moved her hand from around him and back up, wrapping her arms around his neck. He leaned down to kiss her intensely as he positioned himself in-between her legs. She moved her legs apart to give him better access. Nick began to kiss down her neck sucking on it slightly as Melinda leaned her head back and closed eyes, smiling, “Melinda.”

“Yeah?” Melinda asked as she looked back at him and he was looking directly in her eyes.

“Look at me.” Nick said smiling as he leaned over to kiss her again as he moved inside of her just a little. He stopped kissing her and they both looked at each other as he finished moving inside of her all of the way. He stayed like that for a minute, just looking at each other until she leaned up to kiss him and he began to move out of her slowly.

He began kissing over to her check and up to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe a little as he moved down to her neck, sucking and kissing down it again, this time, taking his time as he moved in out of her. She leaned up, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly as she kissing along his shoulder and moving her fingertips up and down his sides, barely touching skin.

He moved down, kissing around her chest as he moved out of her and back in. He moved his head back up, looking in her in the eyes as he leaned over, kissing her deeply again as he began to move inside of her a little faster. She moved her legs apart, giving him even more access and began to moan against his lips as he started to pick up his pace a little.

Melinda began to moan a little louder as Nick started to move inside of her a little faster and then slowed down his pace, causing her to move up against him a little. He just smiled in response, leaning over to take her mouth in his and kiss her slowly. She kissed him back intensely and began kissing and sucking and licking down his neck, moaning against it each time that he moved inside of her.

Nick kept moving inside of her, slowly and then he would pick up his pace, causing her to moan out loud. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, pulling herself up closer to him. He moved his arms up under hers so that he could prop himself up by holding onto her shoulders while he kissed down her neck and back up to her mouth.

He moved faster inside of her as they continued to kiss each other. They held their heads together and looking into each other’s eyes. Nick looked at her, knowing that she was getting close and he knew that he was too so he moved deeper inside of her as he leaned over to kiss her slowly on the lips. They both opened their eyes and looked at each other as he moved out of her slowly and moved back in, deeply, and they both felt their release.

They laid there, looking each other in the eyes and trying to catch their breath. Melinda looked at him and smiled and he smiled back, leaning down to kiss her lightly on the lips. She turned the kiss into a deeper kiss and Nick started to laugh, and began to kiss her back.