Chapter 14
Dave Matthews is a smart man because that’s so true. At least that’s how my life has been the past two days. I feel like I’ve been reborn or I’m this whole new person. I feel like I’m finally starting over again and I know what I want.
I spent most of the night with Nick, until he left really early that morning so that he could go home and get ready for work. I didn’t want him to leave and I don’t think he wanted to leave, but he had to. We didn’t just sleep together all night love and have sex. We kissed, talked, touched, and just held one another. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that before.
The past two days at work have been a little weird too. This morning we had a huge board meeting with some of the main people in the company and I felt very uncomfortable. Nick came in earlier and confessed he was too. I laughed at him and he didn’t think it was very funny. Then he tried to kiss me but I stopped him before my father came in. My father catching us together would definitely be bad.
But, he’s coming back over tonight as soon as he leaves work. He’s going to be working late but I’m not. When he comes over, well, things will go whichever way they want to go I suppose. First, I have to go shopping with my mother which should be fun as long as she doesn’t start asking me what’s going on in my personal life.
“So sweetie, what’s going on in the dating department?” my mother asked that afternoon as we stood in the middle of some small boutique on Rodeo Drive. She was drying to find an outfit to wear to some benefit party she and my father had to attend the next evening.
“I’ve been too busy with work Mom,” I said, holding up a green dress. She shook her head and laughed at me. “What’s so funny?”
“Well, you have this glowing look on your face so I thought maybe you had met someone,” she said. I stared back at her blankly. Did I have a glow on my face? I looked in the mirror before we got out of the car and I didn’t recall seeing a glow. “So?”
“Mom, all that I’ve been doing is working.”
“Well what about that Nickolas guy?”
I froze. I didn’t know what to say or think. I walked over, picking up another dress and looked at it. “Nick? I mean he’s okay but Dad doesn’t like for people that work there to date one another,” I said, putting the dress back on the rack. I moved my eyes up, seeing her staring at me. God, what if she knew something? “What Mom?”
“I just think you two would make a cute couple, that’s all,” she said. I smiled, wanting to say something but my relationship with my mother wasn’t exactly one hundred percent yet. “You two just seem to get along really well.”
“Well, we work together Mom, we have to.”
“I realize that.”
“Forget about it, it’s out of the question. Daddy would fire us both,” I said, knowing that I was talking about my worst fear of my father finding out about whatever was happening with Nick and me.
Would it be such a bad thing if I trusted my mother enough to tell her? Then again, what would I tell her? I slept with the new head designer at our company? It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything now, or yet. He told me he has a fear of commitment and obviously I do too. Maybe we’ll never have a relationship. Maybe we’ll end up being fuck buddies. I mean, I think we would make great fuck buddies, but I think I want more with him.
Would a relationship be so bad?
I lay on my sofa later that night, watching an old rerun of Sex in the City and sighed, wishing that my life seemed as exciting as theirs. People would think that I would have that kind of life but unfortunately I don’t and never really did.
Sadly, I had dressed up for Nick, but not in the conventional way. I curled my hair and it was in loose ringlets, like a little doll. I had on my white silky nightgown and robe that came down midway between my thighs and knees. So tonight I look like I’m going to seduce him but if he doesn’t want to, I’m not. He made no connotations that he was coming over to have sex with me. He just asked could he come over.
I heard someone ring the doorbell and I smiled, knowing that it was him. I glanced at the clock on my way to the door to see that it was almost ten. If he was this late, he was more than likely going to spend the night.
“Hi,” I said, opening the door to see him standing there with Katie in his arms. She was asleep with her head on his shoulder. “Oh, Jay’s working? Where’s his Mom?” I moved so that he could walk in and he gave me a weird look.
“She went home today,” Nick said, smiling at me. “Is it okay that I brought her over? Jay thought he had the night off and he didn’t, time I got there, he was just called in.”
I didn’t know what to say exactly. I wasn’t planning on him bringing his kid over. I’ve never had a kid here at my apartment before. What in God’s name would we do with her?
“Well, since she’s asleep, you could go lay her down in the guestroom on the bed.”
“That would be awesome,” he said as I walked up a few stairs, showing him to the guestroom. I watched him as he walked in, laying her down on the bed. He kissed her on the forehead before putting a little blanket over her. I smiled, watching him because it was so sweet. “Okay, got that taken care of.”
“Okay,” I said as we walked down the few steps again, going back into the living room. “So what did you do at work tonight?” I asked, trying to change the uncomfortable mood that had washed over us.
“Worked with a few of the seamstresses,” he said, smiling at me as he sat down on the sofa. He grabbed my hand, pulling me down with him. “I’ve got to confess something thought.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t wait to get out of there tonight.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to come here with you,” he said as I smiled. “Do you realize how hard it is to stay professional at work? I want to flirt and give you a quick little kiss here or there and I can’t. It’s killing me.”
“I think we should talk about something,” I said, biting down on my bottom lip. He smiled at me as if he knew exactly what I was going to ask. “I know what happened the other night, but I want to know where this is going now? Was it a one time thing or –“
“No, I don’t think it’s a one time thing,” he whispered, looking me in the eyes. “Why did you even think that?”
“Well, I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Well, I didn’t want to say anything or act a certain way,” I said, staring at him. “I don’t know. I mean, this is all new to me.”
“You lived with a guy for three years. How is this new?” Nick asked, smiling at me again.
“I don’t know, maybe because you’re not Daniel,” I whispered. “Maybe it’s because I feel differently when I’m with you than I did when I was with him, but I don’t want it to be a one time thing. We just have to be careful though because if my father found out –“
“We’ll be careful,” he said, leaning over to kiss me softly on the lips. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” I shook my head smiling. “Well you do, but then again you did today at work.” I smiled, moving up in his lap to straddle him. “You know, this still feels weird to me a little.”
“Me too,” I said, biting down on my bottom lip. We sat there, staring into each other’s eyes and I felt his hands move up to my hips, rubbing them slowly. I looked down, seeing him as he moved his hands to untie my robe. He was so slowly and finally slipped it off of my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “You like?” I asked, looking down at my little nightgown.
“Definitely,” he said, smiling at me. He leaned up, kissing me slowly on the lips. He sucked on them until I moved my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I moved my hands to his t-shirt, pulling it up his chest gradually, moving my fingertips along his chest as I did so. He leaned up and we broke away from the kiss long enough so that I could take his t-shirt off and throw it across the room. “Why don’t we go in your room?” he whispered.
“Hmm, let’s stay in here right now,” I whispered, kissing him deeply. He moaned against my lips and began moving his fingers under my gown, touching my little matching panties that I had on. I moved my fingers down, unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them down slowly.
“We need something,” he whispered into my mouth as I continued kissing him.
“Not right now you don’t,” I whispered, moving down to his neck, kissing and sucking on it. I could feel him smiling as I began kissing down his chest, licking and sucking lightly along the way. I moved my lips down to his stomach, waiting until I finally got to where I wanted to be. Then I felt someone tug on my arm.
“You don’t have to,” he whispered, moving his lips, telling me to come back.
“But I want to,” I whispered, seeing him shake his head to me. I smiled, moving back to his lap. “I wanted to, do you not like that?”
“Honestly, not really,” Nick whispered. I was shocked. What guy didn’t like blow jobs? I know there’s a first time for everything but I never thought I would experience that.
Before I could finish thinking about it, he had me on the sofa, hovering over me. “Besides,” he said, staring me in the eyes. “I like pleasing you.”
Did he really just say that or was I hearing things? I felt him move my night gown up and began kissing down my stomach lightly. I was in awe or shock – one or the other. I felt his kisses, moist and wet, move across my skin and it was already driving me crazy. Then just as he started to pull my panties down, we both jumped, hearing a scream.
“Katie,” he said, rushing from the sofa and up the stairs to the guest bedroom. I sighed, closing my eyes. That was not right. I could not be teased and then just thrown away because a kid started crying. How is that even possible? I stood up, looking at him as he walked down the stairs, holding her in his arms. “I’m sorry, I guess she woke up. I thought she would sleep for a while.”
“It’s okay,” I replied, smiling. Okay so maybe I was a little disappointed, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “Will you be able to get her to sleep?”
“I’m not sure, but can you hold her for just a second. I need to use your bathroom,” he said, handing her to me. I held her, watching him go to the bathroom and became scared shitless. I didn’t like holding a kid, alone. I held her to my eye level, seeing her look back at me.
I wondered if she knew who I was and if I wanted her father. Did she possibly know the things that I had in my mind? My mother was right; she does favor me when I was a baby. Hell, currently we almost have the same hairstyle. I was a little disappointed that she interrupted our night. I didn’t know how I was going to handle being with a guy who has a kid. Maybe I could hire a babysitter?
I stood there, staring at her until I looked up, seeing Nick. He was leaning in the doorway to my bedroom with a smile on his face. I didn’t know how long he had been watching me but I took it from the smile on his face, he was thinking nothing but good thoughts.
The real question was: What the hell was I thinking?
