Things have definitely changed in the Davidson family the past two weeks. My mother and I have had lunch together twice. We’ve had two family dinners and my mother, sister, and I went shopping last weekend. It seems unreal and almost Nicky Bunch like if you think about it. Then Tabitha finds out that she’s pregnant once again. I swear, if you didn’t know anybody, you would think he had no job and just stays home to impregnate her.

Things with my mother have been going very well. In fact, she came to my apartment last night. It was only the second time that she had ever been to my place. The first time was when Daniel and I invited my parents to dinner. I really think she is trying and I’m proud of her for that.

Things at work, have been, well, interesting to say the least. Nick and I have kept our relationship strictly professional except for once. We were working this past Sunday and caught ourselves about to kiss. Cameras were in the office so obviously that is what kept us separated. In a way it’s a good thing because we do not need to go that route but in another way it’s just fate telling us that we need one another, physically and emotionally.

Sadly, he’s all that I can really think about. Well, I won’t lie. Him and the new line has been on my mind but I guess that’s obvious since he’s the head designer for it. I just wish everything would work out perfectly, but it’s an imperfect world.

Imperfect is the main word here.

Ever since I went to Nick’s apartment, I’ve thinking about him, and shockingly enough, his daughter. When his roommate practically tossed her into my arms, I was scared shitless. I’ve never been around a baby before, much less one whose father I would give anything to just kiss him all over his body.

I realized one thing though, holding a baby isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I mean, I’m not going to go out, get impregnated and have a baby, but I guess after finding out that I almost never existed, I have a new found respect for babies and mothers in a way. I guess I could say fathers too since it’s just Nick and his daughter. A month ago if I was single and dating around, I would have ran away from a guy with a kid, much less a baby, like a cat would run away from a bath.

Now, it’s not that scary at all.

“I can’t believe tomorrow you’re going to be twenty-seven,” Lily said as I smiled, looking down at my plate of pasta. The waiter came up, pouring more win in our glasses before walking away. “So you really don’t want a party or anything?”

“No, not really,” I replied, smiling again. “My parents want me to come over for dinner and they said to invite you if you wanted to come. It’s just going to be this small dinner, nothing fancy. My sister isn’t even going to be there because they’re going out of town for the week.”

In a way, I was glad that she wouldn’t be there. I don’t mean that in a disrespectable way, but it’s my birthday and well, it might sound selfish but I want all the attention on me.

“Nick has been acting weird around me,” I confessed, looking up at her. Lily just grinned in response. “Everything is business, business, business now and we hardly talk on a one on one level.”

“The kiss probably freaked him the hell out Erin.”
“It was so good.”

“He has a kid.”

“I don’t care if he has a horse and mule, I want him,” I said. Lily had a shocked look on her face. “What? What did I say?”

“One, what the hell is a mule? Two, you really don’t care if he has a child? Do you mean that or do you just want to fuck his brains out?” she asked, staring at me intensely.

“Well, I mean, the later is obvious and I don’t care if he has a kid. I want him that bad,” I replied, laughing. “A mule is like a donkey… you know, a jackass.”

“I think his southern ass is rubbing off on you.”

“Trust me, he’s not rubbing anything on me or I would be one happy girl,” I said, giggling to myself but it was the truth. No matter how hard I wanted to fight it, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to have him – all of him – all night long.

It’s hard to believe that I’m about to be twenty-seven. I’m almost thirty years old and really and honestly not sure who I am. My mother married my father when she was twenty-two. My sister married young also and look at me: I want someone I can’t have.

I think I’m going to start a few resolutions for this next year of my life.

1. I’m going to make myself a better person and do more things for other people.

2. I’m going to try to overcome my fear of commitment.

3. I want to become known as more than just the heiress to the Stellar Designs fortune and a party girl. I want to be known as a part of the company that helps it run. I do that now, but many people don’t know that.

4. I want to be happy, finally, for once.

I sit here now, looking back over the past few years of my life. I thought I was happy, but now I know that I wasn’t. I was okay with everything. I wasn’t extremely happy and satisfied, but I was contempt. I was comfortable with my relationship with Daniel and the way my life was going, and didn’t want it to change in any way, shape, or form.

Now, I think I’m ready for some huge drastic change in my life. I don’t know what that drastic change is just yet, but I know that I’m on the verge of finding what it is. Besides, how do you know what you’re really looking for unless you try looking for it?

“There’s my birthday girl,” my father said the next night as I walked into my parents house with Lily beside me. He hugged me, giving me a huge kiss on the cheek, causing me to laugh a little. “Lily, nice to see you again.”

“Dad, who all is coming over here tonight? It’s just us right?” I asked as I walked into the living room to see my mother and Nick sitting there talking. I looked over, seeing that Katie was with him too. “Oh, okay never mind I see who’s here now.”

“I invited Nickolas to come over since you two are friends and he asked could his daughter come since we have this huge birthday cake and she seems to enjoy it,” my father. I smiled slightly, as my mother came over to hug me. The thought of my mother being so affectionate now was still a little foreign to me, but it was nice.

“Isn’t she the most adorable thing,” my mother said, walking over to pick Katie up. “She’s got little ringlets in her hair like you used to have when you were a baby.”

“You know Nickolas, I should go get some of those baby photos of Erin so you can see how her hair was too,” my father said as Lily started to laugh. I looked in shock, practically stepping in front of my father. “What?”

“Dad, can we not show any of those baby pictures of me? I’m naked or in a diaper in half of them,” I said, causing Nick to laugh slightly. “I’m sure Nick doesn’t want to see me naked,” I said, pausing. The look on Nick’s face was priceless, “naked as a baby, I mean.”

I looked back at Lily who wanted to crack up laughing. She obviously saw the look on his face too. “Ms. Davidson, Daniel isn’t coming over?” Lily asked, wanting to ask the question that I was dying to ask.

“No Lily, why would he? They aren’t dating anymore,” she said as I smiled at her. Finally, finally, my mother had gotten the point. That alone was the best birthday present that I could ever receive. “Why don’t you girls have a seat while your father and I go in the kitchen to make sure everything is getting ready.”

I watched my mother and father walk out of the living room and I looked at Nick who had a smirk on his face. Lily started to laugh as she sat down in a chair and I walked over, picking Katie up. I sat down beside Nick and put Katie in my lap, looking at him.

“Well don’t you three look cozy,” Lily said, snorting lightly. I rolled my eyes at her and looked down at Katie. “Erin, I thought you hated holding little kids?”

“Things change,” I said, staring at her. I looked over at Nick who was staring at a picture of Tabitha and me when I was around four years old. “Right Nick?”

“Right, things change,” he said, looking at Lily. “So, how long have you two been friends?” What was he doing, becoming nosey now or just changing the subject? “From what your father says you two are inseparable.”

“I don’t know, we were teenagers, thirteen maybe?” Lily said, smiling at me. “Aww, you look so cute holding her. It’s almost as if you could be her mother.” I froze, cutting my eyes over at Nick. He was looking away and I knew that comment hurt him. Shit, I didn’t even tell Lily about how he thought he had killed her mother and now she said that.

“No, I could never be her real mother,” I said, looking over at Nick. He looked back, smiling at me slightly and looked at Katie. I knew right then and there that I had said the right thing.

Brownie points for moi.

“Well I hope everybody saved room for cake,” Sylvia said as she rolled the birthday cake into the dining room later that evening. I looked at it, noticing that it was decorated in white, pink, and light green icing.. my favorite colors. Then I noticed all of the candles on there… twenty-seven. That’s when it hit me – I’m old.

I’m twenty-seven years old without any real direction in my life. I knew right then that the resolutions I had made for myself had to happen. I needed to get my life in order and do it soon – before my twenty-eighth birthday.

Before I even realized it, everybody was singing happy birthday to me. I looked over at Lily and then at my parents. They looked happy and for some odd reason I got a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Then I looked at Nick, who was holding Katie. He was singing along lightly, with a slight smile on his face.

“Make a wish and blow out the candles darling,” my mother said as I looked at her.

I closed my eyes. What would I wish for? World Peace? The end of world hunger? How about the Chicago Cubs wining the World Series? That’s when it hit me. What did I want more than anything in the world? I opened my eyes and saw just that.

Nick.

I closed my eyes again and began blowing the candles out, hoping and praying that each one of them blew out. I was never one to be very superstitious and believed in these things but at this point, I didn’t care.

I made my wish.