Chapter Thirty – Four - I Lost It

“Listen, that was my room too and Caraline is my fiancée,” Nick said, talking to the manager of the hotel. “I’m Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys –“ he said, being interrupted by the manager.

“I don’t care who you are. You can find another hotel Mr. Carter. It has been stated by Mr. McGraw that you are not to be allowed on that floor, and we do not want you in this hotel due to Mr. McGraw and Ms. Hill’s wishes.” He said, walking towards a security guard, “Could you please see that Mr. Carter is taken out.”

”That won’t be necessary,” Tim said, walking up to Nick. “Follow me,” he said. Nick held his head down, following Tim outside of the hotel, only to meet Tim’s fist, “Don’t you ever come around Caraline again, do you understand me?

“Tim, damn!” Nick yelled, holding his nose that was now bleeding. “Listen, it’s all a mistake okay, I love her.”

“Did you love her today when you let that girl suck you off in the elevator?” Tim asked, stepping closer to Nick. “Did you love her that night in New York? How many other girls have you been with?”

”Tim, just listen to me. I love her okay. I can’t control myself, it’s who I am.” Nick yelled, walking away from him. “I know I don’t deserve her but I fucking love her.”

”Well keep loving her, but don’t you ever let me see you near her again.” Tim said, staring him in the eyes. “You’ll regret it.” Nick watched Tim as he walked back into the hotel and began to cry. His nose was bleeding from Tim’s punch. He would have a black eye the next day thanks to Caraline’s punch.

Not to mention he just lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

”I’m so sorry Faith for not believing you,” Caraline whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. They were hugging and Faith was trying to calm her down. She had been crying for the past hour and there was no sign of it stopping anytime soon. “I just never expected it. I thought he changed.”

”I’m so sorry this happened to you sweetie,” Faith said, brushing her hand over Caraline’s hair. “Just be glad this happened before it went any further.” Caraline sighed, and stopped hugging Faith. “What?”

”I wanted to marry him,” Caraline whispered, looking at her hand. “I wanted what you and Tim have. I wanted all of that, and I wanted it with him.”

“You’ll have it one day Caraline, just wait.” Faith replied, brushing a strand of hair behind Caraline’s ear. “Nick doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for him. He grew up in the business. That kind of lifestyle is all that he knows.”

Caraline sighed, looking at Faith. “I should have known when I saw Bryan and become confused that it was a sign. I feel no love for Nick right now. I feel nothing but disgust. It wasn’t love. It was lust, that’s all.” She stood up, and walked towards the window. She stared out over the street, watching the cars drive by, wondering if he had left. “Do you want to know what the saddest part is Faith?”

”What?” Faith asked, sitting on the bed, staring at her.

“I want to tell Bryan how much he means to me and how much I love him,” Caraline replied. She looked over her shoulder at Faith who was smiling. “I think this made me realize how much he meant to me. He never did this stuff to me. He never hurt me and I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same way about me, but this made me realize how I feel about him.”

”Why?”

”I thought what Nick and I had was love, and in my mind, I compared it to my relationship with Bryan. It was nothing like that. Nick was lust right from the start and I should have known better.” Caraline turned around, leaning against the window. “Maybe it was just something I had to go through to know what was important to me. I’ve never lived very much and this has definitely woken me up. Nick was lust. He was like this beautiful disaster. He looks good on the outside, and says all the right things, but on the inside, he’s a war zone. He’s a disaster.”

“Everybody has to learn. I learned with my first marriage and I knew that I had something special with Tim,” Faith replied. She stood up from the bed, and walked towards Caraline at the window. “Don’t use your mind and your other body parts when thinking about a guy. Just follow your heart and where your heart goes.”

“I think deep down my heart leads to Bryan,” Caraline whispered, smiling at Faith. “I just can’t believe this happened so quickly. I can’t believe that he would do it though. He promised me that I was the only one.”

”Some men make promises and that’s all they can do,” Faith said. “Their problem is they can’t keep them. Their promises are worth nothing.”

“I’ll never take a guys word over yours again,” Caraline said, reaching up to hug Faith again. “I’m so sorry about that.”

”There’s no need to be sorry,” Faith replied, pulling back from the hug. “You go follow your heart. Don’t worry about the tour. Just get away, okay?”

“Okay,” Caraline whispered, smiling as she looked back out the window.

Nick paced back and forth at the airport, waiting on a flight out of Dallas. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened just hours before at the hotel. He couldn’t believe that his whole relationship with Caraline was over. He couldn’t believe she hit him like she did. He couldn’t believe he let a country singer punch him either.

He was sure he looked like an idiot, all beaten up, and sad too. The best thing that had ever happened to him, just kicked him to the curb. He wondered if this is what some of his ex-girlfriends felt after he broke up with them. He wondered if they felt like trash or they laughed it off.

He couldn’t laugh off what happened with Caraline. He loved her, even if she didn’t believe it anymore. He had never really truly been in love before. He had used the word with girls, but she was the only time he actually meant it.

He heard his cell phone ring, and he jumped, thinking that it might be Caraline. He opened it up, saying “Hello” before he could even open it. “Hello? Hello?”

”Nick,” Caraline whispered into the phone. “I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing –“

”Caraline, please – listen to me baby –“

”Don’t call me baby. Ever. I want nothing to do with you again okay? I told you how bad I hated the cheating stuff and it happened. This is why I was so hesitant to get with you in the first place.” Caraline said. Nick closed his eyes, sighing. “You hurt me and there’s no second chance with me, for you. I loved you, or I thought I did. I guess it was just lust –“

”Caraline, I do love you. You are the only person that I’ve ever told that to and meant it.”

“That may be true, but I don’t feel the same way anymore. I don’t want to see you ever again, so please, don’t come near me. Bye.” Caraline said, hanging up. Nick continued to hold the phone up to his ear, hoping she would say something else - but she didn’t. He sighed, sitting down in a seat and leaned his head back.

It was really over.