Chapter Twenty - Free Love

Nick sat there in front of the fireplace in the bedroom, looking at the fire he had built. He was proud of himself. He actually did it without calling anybody to ask. That was a first. He sat there, staring at the flames as his mind wondered away from how proud he was. He kept thinking about what he found in Caraline’s bag.

Maybe it wasn’t hers or maybe it was just a joke gift that someone had given her and she never got rid of it. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much. He shook his head at himself. He knew why it bothered him. It was bigger than he was and he wondered if she did use it, if it was better because it was bigger.

”Hey,” Caraline whispered as she walked out of the bathroom with her robe on and her hair partially dry as she looked down at Nick, “Get the fire started?”

”Yeah,” Nick said as he looked at her, and then back at the fire, “Just staring at it. It’s a good thinking spot,”

”What are you thinking about?” Caraline asked as she walked over, sitting down on the floor beside him, looking at the fire, putting a towel over her lap that she had in her hands.

”Just stuff,” Nick said as he looked over at her and smiled, “What’s your biggest fantasy?”

”Fantasy?”

”Sexual fantasy,”

”Um,” Caraline said as she looked at the fire, taking a deep breath, “I don’t know, she said as she looked over at Nick again, “I never really thought about it. I don’t really have one I don’t guess. What about you?”

”I wanna see a girl masturbate in front of me,” Nick said as he looked into the fire, seeing Caraline stare at him out of the corner of his eye, “I wanna stand there and watch her lay on the bed, pleasuring herself whether it’s with some kind of sex toy or not. It wouldn’t hurt if she had something, using it you know,” he said as he looked over at her, “That would turn me on so much,”

”Well aren’t you just a freaky guy,” Caraline said as she started to laugh, “All up with the free love and sex toys,”

”Hey, whatever turns me on,”

”Doesn’t take much huh?”

”Not really,” Nick muttered as Caraline laughed, looking down at her robe, “But that, that would be like the ultimate fantasy. I have all these sexual things around like chocolate and whip cream, ice, and lick it off of her and you know, I would be, like, well –“

”What?” Caraline asked, looking at him.

”I think it would be cool to use a sex toy on the other person,” Nick said, looking over at her, “You know, to see that person receive all of this pleasure,”

”What kind of sex toy?” Caraline asked, “Like handcuffs or something?”

”Oh no, no,” Nick said as he smiled, “Like a, you know, dildo or something,”

”A dildo,”

”Yeah, use it on the girl and watch her expressions and fully concentrate on her instead of yourself. That would be some heavy stuff right there,” Nick said as he looked back at the fire.

”What about the girl wanting to use one of those, plastic vagina’s on the guy?” Caraline asked as Nick cut his eyes over to her, “What would you think about that?”

”Why would I want a plastic one if I have the real thing?” Nick asked as Caraline smiled at him.

”Then why would I want a dildo when I have the real thing?” Caraline asked as Nick turned his head, looking at her as he propped his hands up behind him, leaning back a little.

”I thought the same thing when I found one in your suitcase earlier,” Nick said as Caraline turned her head quickly, looking at him as he cracked up laughing, “Don’t try no innocent game with me. It was pink and it’s bigger than me yo,”

”What the hell did you do, measure yourself against it?!?” Caraline asked as she stood up from the floor and looked down at Nick.

”Well damn, yeah,” Nick said as he looked up at her, “I’m a man, I got insecurities and it’s bigger than me.” Caraline walked to the other side of the room, crossing her arms until she started to walk downstairs, “What the hell are you doing with a dildo anyway man?” he asked as he stood up and started following her downstairs.

”I didn’t have sex for almost two and a half years after our little groupie run in that time,” Caraline said as Nick walked to the bottom of the stairs, looking at her as she was looking through her suitcase, “You know, a girl has needs,” she said as she picked up the black case and looked up at him, holding it. “I’m a very sexual person and I didn’t just want to whore myself around and so I bought it one day when I was horny as hell, is that such a bad thing?”

”Well it’s kind of weird –“

”Oh, well you know, I’m sorry I didn’t go around sleeping with any dick that was available like you did any fucking girl that was willing to spread her legs,” Caraline said as she threw it back down in the suitcase, “It’s not like I used it every fucking night, I’ve only used it a few times,”

”Why are you getting so fucking defensive and bringing up that other shit again?” Nick asked as Caraline rolled her eyes, “Every time we get into an argument are you going to bring that shit up?”

”Why am I being so defensive?” Caraline asked as she tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her eyes, “I’m embarrassed as hell okay? All you had to do was just casually say ‘I found a dildo in your suitcase, what’s up with that?’ or something. You didn’t have to go into all of that other shit up there, just seeing what I would say,”

”Sorry I was just trying to make a joke,” Nick muttered as Caraline picked up a tank top and a pair of panties out of the suitcase and started to walk upstairs. Nick pressed his lips together, and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He didn’t know exactly what he had gotten himself into but he was bound and determined not to have her pissy with him all weekend.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he started to walk back upstairs slowly, thinking of what he could say next. He didn’t know what to say because ‘sorry’ probably wasn’t going to cut it. He reached the top step, seeing her as she pulled her tank top partially over her stomach and she looked back at him, then turned her head away.

”Listen, I’m sorry,” Nick said as Caraline turned around, walking back into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Nick stood there, hearing the door knob lock and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking to see her robe lying on the bed and he walked over, picking it up and looked at it, “Caraline –“

Nick –

”Don’t be mad at me,”

”Listen,” Caraline said as she unlocked the door and opened it up, pointing her hairbrush at him, “This is something you don’t know about me but when I get mad, give me space to cool off or it’s not going to be the three picture perfect days that you had planned, got it?”

”Okay,” Nick said as she shut the door back, locking it again and he rolled his eyes. He kicked his shoes off and unzipped his jeans, kicking them to the floor. He leaned over, pulling his socks off and throwing them with his other clothes. He let out a big sigh as he took his t-shirt off and threw it on the floor too and pulled the covers back on the bed, getting in with nothing but his boxer briefs off.

He rested his head on the pillow, looking at the light that came from under the door in the bathroom. She was right, he didn’t know how she was when she got mad and he didn’t want to piss her off anymore. He put his hands over his eyes, rubbing them realizing that they didn’t know each other as well as he thought. He knew they knew each other pretty good, but not well enough.

He didn’t know his limits with joking around with her to piss her off. He didn’t know that he had to leave her alone when she got mad. He didn’t know how to tell if she was sad either. She moved his hands from his face and sighed, knowing that he knew his limits now and which buttons not to push. He just wish that she would stop bringing up the whole groupie thing.

He layed there, looking to see her walk out of the bathroom and turn the light off. She had her hair pulled up in a ponytail on top of her head wearing a tight black tank top and a pair of black panties. She walked over to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers back. She climbed in and sat there, looking over at the fireplace, never looking at Nick as he layed there, staring up at the wall in front of them.

”I’m sorry I got so pissed off,” Caraline whispered as Nick cut his eyes, looking at her as she continued to stare at the fire, “Just, I get embarrassed easily and that really embarrassed me because nobody knows that I have that and I didn’t want anybody to know. I only used it a few times and I haven’t even used it recently, not in the last few months. You shouldn’t feel bad because it’s bigger than you because it’s plastic. It’s not living and it doesn’t have any feelings and you have feelings –“

”Caraline –“

”And I’m sorry I keep bringing the groupie thing up, I need to stop that. I know I need to stop it but I get so defensive when I get upset that when someone hurts me I feel as if I have to hurt them back in a way and when I get mad, I just have to be a lone so that I can think things out,”

”I’m not mad,” Nick whispered as Caraline looked over her shoulder, looking back at him, “I just thought you would find it funny with how I was joking around with finding it. I didn’t realize you took it so seriously or anything. I thought maybe someone gave it to you as a joke or something, I didn’t know,”

”Yeah, I know,” Caraline said as she looked back down at her hands that were in her lap, on top of the comforter. Nick sat up in the bed beside her, looking over at her and smiled, “Just, you know, it embarrassed me. I should throw the thing away because it’s not all that good,”

”I’m better?” Nick asked as Caraline smiled, cutting her eyes over at him, “My itty bitty self is better that big ole thing?”

”You’re not so itty bitty yourself,”

”Well what is that, like ten inches man?”

”Twelve,”

”God damn,” Nick muttered as Caraline started to laugh, “My god, that’s like porn star stuff,” he said as she rubbed her hands over her face, smiling, “Sorry I won’t embarrass you anymore. You’re so blunt and stuff, I never even thought about you being sensitive or anything,”

”Some stuff makes me sensitive,” she said, looking over at him, “But you don’t have to feel jealous. I like being with you a hell of a lot better,”

”Why’s that?”

”Because I don’t have to use my hand?” Caraline asked as Nick cracked up laughing, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek, “You know what I mean, I was just joking,”

”I know,” Nick said as Caraline smiled, turning around a little and leaned up, kissing him on the lips lightly. Nick moved his hand up, cupping the side of her face in his hand and started to take her mouth into his, sucking on her tongue slowly. They sat there, kissing like that for a few minutes until they finally backed away from one another, and held their heads together.