Hey guys,

I regret not updating sooner but the past two weeks have been crazy. First off, work has been crazy since I’ve taken over the Sports section, doing my first big interview and all of that.

Last week on my days off I had a killer migraine which also made sure that I didn’t write any.

Then the news we all know… Michael Joseph Jackson is gone.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve never declared my fandom for the man or his music like a lot of fans and like I do for a lot of performers I like such as BSB, Jonas Brothers, Dierks Bentley or Kelly Clarkson.

My first memory of Michael Jackson is when I was little and saw the “Billie Jean” video. I was fascinated with the light up steps that he kept stepping on. When “Bad” came out, I got it for Christmas, along with my first typewriter, which is ironic considering what I’ve become – a journalist and fascinated with the entertainment industry.

“The Way You Make Me Feel” and “Man in the Mirror” were my favorite songs on the album. In 4th grade, my class put on a play for the entire elementary school, middle school and high school about Martin Luther King, Jr. My teacher asked if anybody had Michael Jackson’s tape of “Man in the Mirror” and I was the only person to raise my hand. A little white girl in the south having that album and knowing what the song meant, that was a big deal to my classmates and to me.

I’ve stayed a fan of Michaels throughout the “Black or White” years, through his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, through the Debbie Rowe years and to his 2001 “Invincible” album. I questioned one of my first music loves when the allegations of child abuse came out but I never thought he did it.

And today he was laid to rest and it finally hit me that one of the men who has inspired me is gone. I didn’t cry when my aunt’s husband, my uncle, died a few weeks ago. I was shocked when a guy I graduated high school with died and my other aunt’s (my favorite aunt)’s father died just minutes ago and while I’m sorry for their deaths and know that they were gone too soon, it’s Michael Jackson’s death, a man that I never met and never knew, who has touched me the most.

I was at work, in the newsroom with one of my co-workers read the breaking news over the AP wire – Michael Jackson rushed to the hospital, possible heart attack. I was on it like white on rice.

And then the reports that he was gone.

Nobody believed TMZ in the newsroom but I knew that they were right. For some reason I could feel it… kind of like I have certain feelings about people that inspire me. Tony Stewart winning a race. Someone getting ready to call or visit me. I knew Michael was gone.

I just want to leave this post with lyrics to one of my favorite Michael songs:

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody’s Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya’ See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That’s Why I’m Starting With Me